Through a lens brightly

Indian Summer - Bracclesham Bay

2011-10-02T22:25:00.000+01:00

What better way to enjoy this amazing Indian Summer than to head down to the coast! Unfortunately I wasn't the only one who had that idea, and the journey took rather longer than anticipated. At times it was tempting to turn aside and head back closer to home, but oh boy! was I glad I kept going.

When I arrived at my destination, the tiny car park at Bracclesham Bay was full. I took my place in the queue and the car park attendant came over and assured me there were families about to leave. Then when a car left and I was about to go and park, she came and asked me if I would mind the car behind having the space as the man was due to go out on a boat for a dive and was afraid he would miss his boat. Now of course, if I had had my wits about me and thought quickly, I could have bargained for some advantage ... he could have my space if he would pay my car park fee! Regrettably I didn't think of that until after I'd politely pulled aside and let him through. Oh well.

At last I was able to park up and take my place on the beach. I call it a beach - when the tide is in (as it was by the time I got there), it's more of a shingle bank. I've been to Bracclesham Bay many, many times, and never seen it as busy as it was today, in October! So strange, having such a hot, sunny day so late in the year - but I'm not complaining, you understand. Back in May I was out in Lanzarote and went swimming there - never expected the sea off our south coast to be warmer than the waters lapping the shores of the Canaries. I floated and swam to my heart's content, until my fingers went crinkly, then sat and enjoyed the sunshine and the delight of people all around me making the most of this bounty. Gorgeous!

October!

2011-10-01T21:41:00.028+01:00

What amazing weather for October!

My drive to work takes me along one of those roads that has a canopy of trees overhanging it, and when the golden autumn sunshine slants through, it looks beautiful. This week there has been the added beauty of early-morning mist, and I particularly noticed a large and intricate cobweb adding artistry to the scene. Each day I've passed it, I thought how lovely it would be to stop and take a photo ... but it's a busy road and work was waiting. Not today, however! Today the dawn was too exquisite to resist. I pulled on my walking boots, picked up the camera and headed out into the misty sunrise.

I liked the pattern of these palm fronds against the pale morning sky

This pampas grass seemed to glisten

Over Barossa Common I found plenty of cobwebs festooning the heathland, and the mist shrouding the hills somehow brought a sense of tranquility.

cobweb tree

Old Dean Community Fun Day

2011-09-10T14:56:00.001+01:00

By the time I'd turned it upside down and trowelled on the icing, I convinced myself the coffee & walnut cake looked acceptable enough to donate to St Martin's refreshments stall at the Old Dean Community Fun Day today, along with the gluten-free/dairy-free fruit cake. The chocolate sponge cake is for Vicky's birthday.

Cake-wreck

2011-09-09T20:32:00.000+01:00

I do a fair bit of gluten-free baking, successfully adapting recipes, but this time I followed the recipe faithfully as I hadn't tried making a coffe & walnut cake before. Here's the very sad result! It was supposed to be for the Community Fun Day tomorrow (I've volunteered to help with the refreshments). Do you think anyone will notice if I just fill up the well with coffee icing?

Arundel Arts Festival

2011-08-21T21:34:00.039+01:00

On occasions when we've driven past Arundel and seen the castle on the skyline, a friend and I have commented it would be nice to visit one day. A few weeks ago I googled and noticed there is an Arts Festival in the town in August, where the whole town becomes an Art Gallery. An opportunity too good to miss!

I drove us down on Saturday. We arrived about 10 am and left the car in the Norfolk Arms car park (where we'd booked overnight accommodation), had a coffee in a coffee shop and then strolled up the hill to the castle. I took lots of photos but I think these two are probably my favourites.

In the afternoon we went from house to house on the Art Gallery trail - people in the town open their homes to visitors and display the entries in the various competition categories: photography, sculpture, prints, jewellery, ceramics ... a very enjoyable experience altogether.

Besides the artwork, there are plenty of other festival happenings over the course of the 10 days, including free music concerts in the town square and elsewhere. So much to do and to see, I think we may well go back next year.

Where in the world?

2011-07-29T10:00:00.012+01:00

A friend rang yesterday feeling a bit jaded and wanting to be taken away from it all for a day. I did some research and chose an inspirational place to visit. Take a close look at the photo and see if you can work out where we went.

If you thought we jetted off to see the Sistine Chapel in Rome, it would be entirely understandable. In fact we only went as far as the south coast of England. In a suburb of Worthing called Goring-by-Sea in the English Martyrs Catholic Church there is the only known reproduction of Michelangelo's famous work.

Magic Summer Live

2011-07-18T17:15:00.002+01:00

There were some magic moments at the Magic Summer Live concert, but sadly not enough for me to feel it was worth the price of the 'VIP' ticket. My discontent began on the way in to the grounds of Hatfield House, when the car park marshalls and stewards didn't seem to be particularly interested or informed on the parking arrangements. Even before the music began, I passed a group of concert-goers complaining it was the worst concert they'd ever been to in terms of organisation. Then there was the weather. For a supposedly summer's day, it couldn't have been much worse! The sky is deceptive in the first photo - notice rather the multi-coloured mushrooms. Occasionally there was a little ray of sunshine in between the cloudbursts, but mostly it was wet, windy and increasingly cold as the afternoon gave way to evening.

It should have been a wonderful experience - the line-up was fantastic: Wonderland, The Pierce's, The Overtones, Rumer, The Lighthouse Family, Sir Elton John OBE, along with the cast of some of the current West End Theatre productions: We Will Rock You, Wicked, Mamma Mia and so on. There were two stages, with a staggered programme so that the excerpts from musicals on one stage interspersed the groups playing on the other. Sadly even the quality of the music couldn't outweigh the disappointment of finding that the VIP seating was at a vast distance from the main stage and out of sight of the West End stage.

But don't take my word for it, here's a link to a review by Backstage Pass

Ignore the blue sky - notice instead the umbrellas

Even this camera couldn't quite capture a good shot of Sir Elton John

I liked this couple dancing. Yeah, I'm a romantic at heart

This gorgeous little girl, captivated by Rumer

Rumer

The Pierce's

The Overtones

The Overtones - in a moment of sunshine

Wonderland

Old Dean Common

2011-07-13T20:47:00.000+01:00

This evening I went for a walk over the common and was delighted to see a young male roe deer. He was grazing about fifty feet away, glancing up to look at me now and then to check I wasn't a threat. I stood still and watched a while, until he decided it was time to go and sprang neatly over the wire fence, quickly vanishing from sight in the woods.

The wire fences around the common are a new feature to contain the cattle that have been introduced as an environmental measure. http://odcog.org/whatsnew.aspx I saw them last time I went for an evening walk over the common. I could hear something large moving towards me but at first I didn't know what it was as it was obscured from view by shrubs and trees. Then the lead bullock caught sight of me at the same time I saw him. Curiously, solemnly, we stood and looked at each other until the other bullocks caught up with him. They also spared a glance my way before lowering their heads to the lush green grass in the clearing. Surrounded by his herd, the lead bullock also lowered his head and began to graze, moving forward step by step as he did so.

I enjoyed both of these encounters with grazing animals.

Last weekend I had a lovely stay with my daughter in Bradley Stoke (near Bristol). This juvenile blackbird is a regular visitor to her garden - it appears to have some sort of deformity, or possibly a tumour on the neck, but nonetheless seems able to feed and to fly normally.

No Tool like an Old Tool

2011-06-04T19:02:00.001+01:00

The bees love these poppies

Thirty six years ago I was getting ready to leave home to move into the Halls of Residence at the place I studied as an Undergraduate. I bought a load of kitchen equipment, including a potato peeler. It was my faithful tool until I had to retire it last week when it finally fell apart in my hands. Now I'm trying to find a replacement, and it's not proving easy. Here is the one I bought from the shop I always think of as 'the expensive kitchenware shop'. It happened to be very cheap, only £1.99, but it looked of a similar design: stainless steel, with a swivel blade.

Sadly that handle isn't as ergonomically designed as my original tool - the poor finish on the edge of the metal means it cuts into your hand as you're peeling. As the saying goes, there's no tool like an old tool. I'm still in the market for a decent peeler, so if you see one, let me know.

Changing the subject, at St Martin's cafe today it was a pleasant distraction sitting outside in the sun watching the bees busy on the poppies.

On my knees in front of the loo

2011-05-29T23:11:00.001+01:00

So Bank Holiday weekend rolls around and I decide to spend some of my time on my knees in front of the loo. No, I wasn't 'paying homage to the toilet god' as I think the euphemism goes. I was doing a bit of DIY plumbing. For some time the cistern has had an intermittent fault where occasionally it fails to fill, instead the water continues running straight through. I do like things to work properly and it was getting boring, having to keep taking the lid off and filling the cistern manually. It was time to tackle the problem. My friend talked me through what I needed to do. In the end he needed to finish the job for me, tightening the nut and helping ensure the connections weren't leaking afterwards, but I felt a sense of accomplishment nonetheless.

De Vere Venues: New Place, Shirrell Heath, Southampton

2011-04-22T23:39:00.020+01:00

This weekend I'm enjoying an Easter retreat at a delightful hotel near Southampton. It caters to lone travellers as well as families, and my single bedroom is spacious and comfortable. The staff are friendly and helpful - when I discovered the pillows were luxurious goose down, I asked if I could have them swapped for non-allergenic pillows and within a very short space of time, the duty manager appeared with crisp new pillows.

The photo above is looking out from the main house (the old mansion). Below is a photo of the carving on the newel post.

The Atrium, Camberley

2011-04-21T16:59:00.000+01:00

What does the model's expression say to you?

This advertising poster amuses me. The expression on the model's face looks like she's totally fed up about something - her experience of The Atrium, perhaps?

April Moon

2011-04-17T20:26:00.001+01:00

Beautiful Glowing Golden Moon Tonight!

Music for Health Annual Seminar: Sunday 10th April @ Field Place, Worthing

2011-04-11T17:27:00.001+01:00

As one of the newest Local Directors, this was my first time. I didn’t know what to expect. With the seminar not due to start until 1 pm, my friend and I arrived in Worthing around 10 am. We scoped out the destination and then drove onto Worthing seafront to make the most of the beautiful summery weather. I liked the idea of arriving at the seminar with sand between my toes and salt in my hair – of bringing that fresh energy that wild swimming invigorates us with - but my swimming costume didn’t come out of the bag once I saw how far out the tide was!

Where's the sea gone?

Instead we walked along the promenade into town and found the Salvation Army setting up outside Costa’s. We bought coffee and sat in the shade enjoying the music for spiritual health, and just as I might encourage others to do, I sang along lustily to the hymns and choruses I knew.

Salvation Army in Worthing

Field Place is an 18^th Century Manor House set in eight acres of well-kept grounds. We arrived a little before one and strolled through gardens in their spring colours, busy with the sounds of birds and bumble bees.

Lunch was a cordial affair, a chance to put names to faces as I met other Local Directors. We munched our way through the grand banquet spread before us, the buzz of small talk overlaid with the strains of music played by Sally Whitaker on her full-sized harp. From time to time my gaze would wander to the intriguing collection of small gift boxes on a card table near the stage. What could they be?

The full programme included guest speakers such as Sue Mason, an Activity Manager, who confirmed the benefits of the Music for Health workshops for her residents. Angus Ewing provided Neuro-Linguistic Programming tips on ‘anchoring’ ourselves in the positive, on creating an inner resource we can draw on when we’re facing doubts or fears. Cathy Steinman from Age Concern shared her passion for ‘enabling’ people – not doing for them what they can do for themselves. For example if an elderly neighbour needs shopping, much as it might be easier and more convenient to do it for them, Cathy would encourage us to go the extra mile and support our neighbour to participate in the shopping trip as this is potentially of much greater benefit. In between the guest speakers, MfH Local Directors shared their talents and Helen demonstrated how to use our props with panache.

It was a lot to pack into one afternoon. At last, revived and fortified with a final plate session followed by tea and cakes, the mystery of the gift boxes was revealed – there was one for everyone, a small but luminous gift of a mechanical torch to remind us not to hide our light under a bushel. Thank you, Helen, David and all my fellow Music for Health team for welcoming me into the family.

Jesus and Buddha: The Common Ground

2011-03-26T18:33:00.000Z

Tulips in bloom in my garden

Today I was invited to join the Woking Friends for a workshop on the topic of Jesus and Buddha: The Common Ground. It was facilitated by Geoff and Bev Hunt, a married couple who live the topic. Geoff is, amongst other things, a Professor of Philosophy and a Buddhist Chaplain. Bev is a non-stipendiary Anglican Minister.

The workshop was divided into 5 sessions:

Love for Enemies
Materialism (wordliness)
Judging/Criticizing Others
Worry
Love

For each session, Geoff had chosen some relevant teachings of the Buddha and Bev had chosen relevant Gospel passages. Below I've provided links to the online Bible Gateway if you want to read the Gospel passage, and quoted the Buddha teachings in full (as I don't know of a single unified online source of the Buddha's teachings).

1. Love for Enemies

Gospel readings: Luke 6: 27-36

Dhammapada Bks 1, 10, 17

Buddha said ...

3. "He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who harbour such thoughts do not still their hatred.

4. "He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who do not harbour such thoughts still their hatred.

5. Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.

129. All tremble at violence; all fear death. Putting oneself in the place of another, one should not kill nor cause another to kill.

133. Speak not harshly to anyone, for those thus spoken to might retort. Indeed, angry speech hurts, and retaliation may overtake you.

134. If, like a broken gong, you silence yourself, you have approached Nibbana, for vindictiveness is no longer in you.

221. One should give up anger, renounce pride, and overcome all fetters. Suffering never befalls him who clings not to mind and body and is detached.

223. Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth.

224. Speak the truth; yield not to anger; when asked, give even if you only have a little. By these three means can one reach the presence of the gods.

After Geoff and Bev had read the passages aloud, they invited those present to discuss them. I found myself drawn to the Buddhist teachings as they were new to me. Once I'd explored the novelty, I focused on the last sentence: By these three means can one reach the presence of the gods. Aloud I commented that there seemed to be an unwritten assumption that that would be one's goal. From there my thoughts went to the foundational lesson of 'A Course in Miracles': What is unreal does not exist, what is real cannot be threatened. Therein lies the peace of God. I shared with the group the idea that 'reaching the presence of the gods' was perhaps another way of speaking of the peace that 'transcends all understanding' (Philippians 4:7)

2) Materialism (worldliness)

Gospel reading: Luke 12: 15 - 21

Khuddakapatha 8.9

The Buddha says ...

'Let the wise man do righteousness: a treasure that others cannot share, which no thief can steal; a treasure which does not pass away'.

Udanavarga 1.20-21

'Truly, it is the law of humanity that though one accumulates hundreds of thousands of worldly goods, one still succumbs to the spell of death. All hoardings will be dispersed, whatever rises will be cast down, all encounters must end in separation, life must finally end in death'.

In this session it was the Gospel reading that caught my attention, the parable of the rich man who built bigger barns to store his surplus grain, to whom God said, "You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you..." Jesus closes the parable with the warning to his listeners: "This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God." Recently I bought a new fridge-freezer. There was nothing wrong with the old one, it worked perfectly well, but I told myself I needed a bigger one to store up the extra food I planned to cook so that I could have a stock of ready meals against the times when I might not choose to cook a meal from scratch. No sooner had the new fridge-freezer taken its place in the kitchen than the washing machine died!

3) Judging/Criticizing Others

Gospel reading: Luke 6: 37 - 42

Udanavarga 27:1

The Buddha said...

The faults of others are easier to see than one's own; the faults of others are easily seen, for they are sifted like chaff, but one's own faults are hard to see. This is like the cheat who hides his dice and shows the dice of his opponent, calling attention to the other's shortcomings, continually thinking of accusing him.

Dh vv 50, 51

The Buddha said ...

'Do not remark on the faults of others, but see what you yourself have left undone. Then overlook the faults of others'.

'Like beautiful flowers that have colour but no scent are the eloquent but empty sayings of the man who does not act according to his words'.

This session generated a lot of discussion. I put forward the suggestion that when we look into the world, it is like looking into a mirror that allows ourselves to adjust our image - if we see something we don't like 'out there', it offers the opportunity to observe an attitude of our own heart and adjust accordingly. As we talked about those who judge, criticize and condemn others harshly, I offered the phrase that it's like beating up the reflection you see in the mirror.

One participant told an amusing tale - she works as an office cleaner, going in at the end of the day when everyone has gone home. She polishes the desks. One day one of the staff members had spent some considerable time sharpening pencils over his computer, leaving the fragments for her to deal with. She declined to do so (struggling inwardly at the same time), certain it was the wrong thing to do, and smiling to herself at the thought of him having to clear it up himself when he next came in. I imagined my own reaction in such a situation, and amused myself with the idea I would have wanted to leave a comment for him:

Keep practicing and you may make it to the Tate Modern!

4) Worry

Gospel reading: Matthew 6: 25 - 34

Majjhima nikaya 27

The Buddha teaches ...

'On returning from his almsround, after his meal he sits down, folding his legs crosswise, setting his body erect, and establishing mindfulness before him. Abandoning longing for the world, he dwells with a mind free from longing ... Abandoning worry and remorse, he dwells free from agitation with a mind inwardly peaceful..

Dh 90-93

The Buddha teaches ...

90. The fever of craving does not exist for him who has completed the journey, who is sorrowless and wholly set free, and has broken all ties.

91. The mindful ones exert themselves. They are not attached to any home; like swans that abandon the lake, they leave home after home behind.

92. Those who do not accumulate and are wise regarding food, whose object is Emptying, the Unconditioned Freedom - their track cannot be traced, like that of birds in the air.

Bev and Geoff gave us a chance to talk amongst ourselves in small groups. I was with two other women and we talked about the difference between the freedom a Monk might have from considerations that a Mother has to deal with.

5) Love

Gospel reading: Matthew 22: 36 - 38

Sutta Nipata 149-50

The Buddha says ...

'Just as a mother would protect her only child at the risk of her own life, even so, cultivate a boundless heart towards all beings.

Let your thoughts of boundless love pervade the whole world: above, below and across without any obstruction, without any hatred, without any enmity.

We closed with a few moments of silence. I found it a thoroughly engaging, interesting, energising workshop and very much enjoyed the company in which I found myself. Many thanks to Geoff, Bev, and to Woking Friends for hosting the afternoon.

If life hands you an odd sock, make a sock puppet

2011-03-24T08:44:00.072Z

On Saturday at around 3 am I was admitted as a 'Voluntary Patient to the ARC2 Ward at the Noel Lavin Unit in Guildford, there being no spare beds at the Wingfield Ward, the local Mental Health Inpatient facility where I've spent some time in the past. I've put 'Voluntary Patient' in inverted commas because I wasn't offered another option. Over the past few weeks I've been working out my notice at my current employment and preparing for a new venture into self-employment. I've been coping well with the pressures, but a few lingering self-doubts led to me taking a couple of decisions which Vicky and David interpreted as relapse indicators: I'd phoned my daughter after midnight Thursday night - something I've never done before as she is generally in bed before midnight - and I'd walked barefoot to my son's house (a couple of miles) and woken him at 6 am Friday morning. He wasn't amused. They expressed their concern by taking me to the local Accident & Emergency hospital for a psych assessment. I went willingly as I understood their need to 'do something' about their concerns, and I was confident that a psych assessment would find me perfectly sane. We spent 11 hours sitting in waiting rooms Friday, then they were tasked to deliver me to the ARC2 ward where I was given a bed in a room with another patient peacefully snoring the night away.

Whilst I was there, we had some glorious summery weather - here's a view from the ARC2 Lounge taken on Wednesday 23rd, looking towards Guildford Cathedral as the sun sets.

Same view the next morning after the thick mist has begun to clear to the extent you can see the buildings nearby but not the Cathedral.

I attended a couple of the therapy groups, including one on Mindfulness. On the wall of the Therapy Lounge was this piece of artwork/wisdom on coping with feelings.

The Strongest Link

2011-02-22T20:00:00.054Z

Is Compassion the strongest link?

My current employment is in the voluntary sector working on the Community Innovations Team, a Hampshire County-wide initiative aiming through early intervention and prevention to reduce the number and severity of hospital admissions for elderly people, and to assist them to retain their independence for longer.

My role has been to identify and map the existing services and activities for older people in the area and to communicate with the Social Worker, Occupational Therapist and Community Support Worker to ensure they are able to signpost their clients appropriately.

I share an office with the Dial-a-Ride drivers and their co-ordinator. Today one of the Dial-a-Ride drivers asked if anyone happened to have a spare shopping trolley - one of his regular passengers, an elderly lady, had recently had a fall and broken her arm and was now struggling to carry her shopping. I suggested we might find one for her through the Freecycle website, and promptly posted a 'Wanted' ad. Towards the end of the day, I checked my mail and discovered a Freecycler had responded, offering a shopping trolley his parents no longer needed. I picked it up on my way home from work and dropped it off at a colleague's home - I'm not going into the office tomorrow, and she had agreed to take it in and give it to the Dial-a-Ride driver who would deliver it to the passenger.

This evening I was watching the quiz show, "The Weakest Link", and the contestants banked a nice pot of money with an unbroken chain of 9 correct answers. (In fact they could have banked even more as the next two answers were also correct).

It occurred to me that the story of the shopping trolley was a little similar - a chain of people each putting their small willingness and ability into the pot in order to bring a little joy into an elderly lady's life when she receives a timely gift from the friendly Dial-a-Ride drivers who treat their customers like extended family.

Postscript: After writing this blog post, I read the 'Word for Today' which concluded:

Leon Nacson says, 'Always anticipate the best outcome for yourself and others, because when what you expect is just more of the same, that's what you get!' Remember, '...Faith is being sure of what... we do not see' (Hebrews 11:1 NIV). So even when you can't 'see' it, trust God to work on your behalf, to arrange for you to be in the right place at the right time, and for others to go out of their way to help you - and watch God work.

Snow, so no go

2010-12-02T11:48:00.003Z

Just when I was anticipating walking and swimming in glorious warm sunny weather, the snow arrives. Last year I commented on the early snowfall on 20th/21st December - this year it's arrived even earlier, a winter visitor I could well have done without. Today I was due to fly out from Gatwick to Tenerife. After yesterday's snow, Gatwick was closed but looked set to re-open in time for my lunchtime flight today. Fresh snow overnight put paid to that and my trip has been canceled. What a disappointment.

To add to the disappointment, I've just come in from trying to build an igloo with absolutely no success at all! The snow is very dry and powdery. I suppose I could add water just like you do when building a sandcastle ... but it's not like I've even got a playmate to help me build it. (Are you feeling sorry for me yet?)

In other news, I've bought a new camera to replace the old one after it developed an intermittent fault. I asked a photographer friend for a recommendation and he made some suggestions. In the end I went for a Canon Powershot SX30 with its super optical zoom. Very nice too. Sadly I won't be able to bring you pictorial delights of a trip to Mount Teide National Park - we'll both have to satisfy ourselves with others' photo-memories.

If you're curious about the cartoon - this week I was sorting through some old photos and I came across my mother's autograph book. I think it dates back to 1940 as there are a few cartoons in there signed like this one, 'C. Macpherson 40'. I don't know who the cartoonist is, or how he fits into Mum's life, but he appears to have been extremely talented. If memory serves correctly, Mum trained as a carpenter in the WAAF. I also seem to recall she worked as a waitress in Croydon at some point before she became a mother, and I think the later entries (eg Donald Pleasance) relate to that post-war, pre-maternity period.

The Cruiser's Return

2010-11-13T23:06:00.000Z

So I'm back on solid ground, and finally that rolling effect is wearing off. I'm looking through my photos and some of them have turned out ok. Unfortunately, as previously mentioned, the camera has developed an intermittent fault since I dropped it. I'll maybe treat myself to a Digital SLR camera before too long.

The cruise was called 'Colourful Coasts' and took me on an interesting voyage around the Canary Islands to Madeira and Morocco. One of the highlights has to be the tree-climbing goats of Morocco. It's like something out of the film, The Bucket List! You remember the special coffee beans that caused Morgan Freeman's character so much amusement? I have two words to say to you: Argan oil. Go on, look it up on Wikipedia.

Prayers for Good Weather Answered!

2010-10-31T21:22:00.001Z

Service of Light
St Michael's Church, Camberley

Spiritual Journeying: Food for Thought

2010-10-13T16:10:00.001+01:00

Regular readers may know that I help facilitate monthly meetings for people who sometimes find life difficult. The group is called 'Spiritual Journeying' and offers themed conversation.

Today's Spiritual Journeying session was on 'Food for Thought' and was an especially upbeat one in many ways, with plenty of laughter and some deep moments. The good news of the trapped miners in Chile being rescued led on to other spiritually uplifting thoughts.

When I got home I lit a candle and spent some time in meditation. At one point I realised my body was warm (I'd wrapped a blanket around my shoulders) but my hands felt cold, then even as I acknowledged that, I became aware of a sensation of energy flowing into my hands, as though they were crackling with power. I contemplated the idea it might be a flow of healing power, so I brought to mind some friends and prayed for their healing.

I then recalled something I'd heard recently, about seeking God's face rather than his hands - in other words, seeking a relationship with God rather than what he can do for us. Before guilt could cloud the moment, I received the assurance that it's ok to ask for what I want, that my loving Heavenly Father delights in giving. The phrase: "A gift given and received in love blesses both the giver and receiver" came to mind, and I was moved to tears by an overwhelming sense of being loved and enjoyed.

My prayer for you today is that you, too, will know that deep sense of being loved and enjoyed, and that you will freely accept the blessings and gifts our loving Heavenly Father longs to shower on you.

Eat Pray Love

2010-09-29T18:30:00.000+01:00

Last night I went to see the film 'Eat Pray Love'. It's quite long, but I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. I thought Julia Roberts was so believable in the role (and I think she's gorgeous anyway, so no hardship watching her eat spaghetti in close up).

Sunset over Swanpool

2010-09-17T22:00:00.002+01:00

Greetings from Falmouth! It was cheering to drive down in gorgeous sunshine. We arrived just after three after a pleasant journey. The two-bedroomed apartment is called 'Seawatch' and lives up to its name with huge French windows opening onto a private balcony and a fabulous view out over Swanpool beach and the bay beyond. We watched the pastel colours changing hue as the sun went down; a sky suffused with pink perfectly reflected in the still waters below. Delightful!

Massaging those Vital Statistics?

2010-09-16T16:15:00.000+01:00

Only this week I noticed that blogger now provide stats showing how many times your blog has been viewed. It seems there are a lot more visitors than I knew: stealth browsers slipping under the radar of Statcounter. I was puzzled by a trend - the most visited post (averaging around 7 visitors a day) was 'House Guest', posted on 12 August 2009. At first I thought there were a lot of dog-lovers out there. It wasn't until I read through the journal entry I realised which word was probably pulling in all the interest ... can you spot which one?

I guess the photo of an elderly cocker spaniel is a big disappointment to the majority of lascivious readers!

Cardiff & The Moody Blues

2010-09-10T20:14:00.015+01:00

I'd booked overnight accommodation at a guesthouse 300 metres from St David's Hall (the venue for The Moody Blues concert in Cardiff). When I'd booked it, the landlady had asked me what time I anticipated checking in and I'd said around 2 pm. She explained there was limited free parking in the street outside, on a 'first come, first served' basis. As we were getting ready to go on Friday, I emailed her an updated ETA of 3 pm and received the acknowledgment, 'see you then'.

As we crossed the Severn Bridge, we left the sunshine behind and entered the wet world of Wales. We arrived at 3.15 and were fortunate to find a parking space outside the Guesthouse, which looked across the River Taff to the Millennium Stadium.

Why do we never get an answer

when we're knocking at the door ...

We went to the door and knocked and knocked ... no reply. My friend tried phoning ... no reply. Eventually a couple came out and I took the opportunity to go in whilst my friend stayed with the car (we needed to get a parking permit from the landlady). Inside there was a bell to ring for attention. Still no reply. After a while another guest arrived at the front door and knocked. I let him in and (there being no lounge) we waited together in the hallway for a good twenty minutes. He explained he was an entertainer, booked for a nurses' party nearby, and had been hoping to get his head down for a nap for a couple of hours before his gig. I'm guessing he does John Cleese/Basil Fawlty impressions as there was a strong resemblance. Eventually our landlady arrived, dripping wet and full of apologies - she'd had an unexpected visitor and had to walk her to the station.

My friend and I were glad to get in and use the bathroom before donning our jackets and heading out into the city for a coffee and to collect the tickets from the box office. We walked around a while, enjoying some of the sights, such as this pelican statue, and the family group.

Sign on a shop window:

Laughter is the best cosmetic -grin and wear it!

A bumper sticker:

A still tongue makes for a happy life

The castle. Look, they've hung the flags out!

After a meal in Wetherspoons, we found our way back to St David's Hall. Having booked late, our seats were dizzyingly high, but the acoustics were good and we had an unimpeded view of the stage.

Besides Graeme Edge, Justin Hayward and John Lodge, there were 4 other musicians: a talented drummer (who also played the flute on one number), a bouncy guy with a large number of keyboards around him, and two gorgeous girls - a platinum blonde playing keyboard and guitar, and a brunette playing flute and guitar. Justin Hayward's voice is as true as ever. It was a fantastic experience, being bathed in the very rich smooth satin sound the group produced.

Each and every heart it seems
Is bounded by a world of dreams ...

… and perhaps in my wildest dreams I might have imagined hearing the Moody Blues play live – in which case this was a dream come true

…and somehow I’ll return again to you

Shy Kid Re-emerges

2010-09-04T19:08:00.004+01:00

From a very young age through to late teens (or later) I was extremely shy and prone to blushing if addressed directly by someone outside my very small circle of acquaintances. Seems that shy kid is still hiding inside. This morning I visited the Saturday cafe at St Martin's Church, accompanied by my neighbour's 8 year old daughter. An older gent I haven't met before greeted me in unorthodox fashion: "Will you marry me?". It was said with a twinkle and a roguish smile. I could feel the flush burning my cheeks as I struggled to appear cool and poised and find an appropriate response. Sadly no quick-witted retort sprang to my lips.

By contrast, my young friend is extremely feisty. Having learnt my children are grown up and I haven't got any grandchildren, she and her friend have made me their adoptive gran. We went to the Community Fun Day together, and I watched in admiration as she threw herself fully into every experience on offer, asking the firemen if she could climb on the fire engine, scampering up the climbing wall like a monkey and generally giving herself a grand adventure. It was great to see.

Later on I popped round Dave's to see how his garden room construction is getting on - despite the weather, work progresses rapidly.

Akiane, Child Prodigy

2010-09-04T08:49:00.002+01:00

If you've got some time to spare, click on this link. It will take you to a website of a child prodigy named Akiane. She writes, she composes music, and mostly she paints - an inspired artist since she was 4 years old! On the home page there are a couple of videos, or at the top of the page you'll see a link to the Gallery. Follow that link and there are separate galleries for the pictures she created from 4 years old upwards. When you're in the individual galleries, there's a small cross to the bottom right-hand corner - click on that and it will take you back to the main gallery (with the menu bar at the top of the page again).

Enjoy!

Wooo hooo!

2010-09-03T17:24:00.003+01:00

I met with a friend for coffee today and we got talking about groups from our younger days - she's going to the Weyfest this weekend to see Focus. Curved Air are also playing there (I've got their single 'Back Street Love' on the original 45 rpm vinyl). I mentioned I'd really like to see The Moody Blues live, never having seen them when they were having hits. She suggested I go and see the tribute band that do Moody Blues music, so I came home and googled ... and discovered that the REAL, the ORIGINAL Moody Blues are doing a tour ... now I've just got to choose a venue (probably Cardiff).

Things you see when you haven't got a camera

2010-09-02T15:39:00.003+01:00

In an exception to the general rule that women are good at multi-tasking, this morning on the way to work there was a lady driving a red fiat trying to style her hair up at the same time and succeeding at neither task. As she put both hands up to her hair, the car would wander casually off course. She'd put a hand down and correct the steering, and lose control of the hair. Needless to say, I kept a safe distance between us until our ways parted. Too much 'Spirito di Punto', methinks.

Further along, a notice on the back of a Renault Trafic caught my eye: No passengers are left onboard this vehicle overnight.

Notting Hill Carnival

2010-08-30T17:56:00.000+01:00

Having never been to the Notting Hill Carnival before, I decided it was high time I went along to see this (apparently) world-renowned celebration of Caribbean culture happening almost on my doorstep. Accordingly a friend and I caught the tube into London on Sunday, dropped our overnight bags off at the Whiteleaf Hotel in Bayswater and walked along to Notting Hill. We arrived early. The crowd control measures were already in place with metal barriers lining some of the route the carnival procession would take, and well-policed 'sterile zones' at the junctions.

This is one of the 'sterile zones'.
In the background you can see barbecue smoke

All around the route were vendors barbecueing Jerk Chicken, corn cobs, etc, smoke rising into the Sunday morning air. The weather was behaving; reasonably mellow - a few spits and spots of rain and occasional gusts of wind, but mostly harmless.

Some guys enjoying the procession from their balcony, the guy in the white t-shirt dancing like a Thunderbird puppet!

There were some highly creative costumes - very colourful and elaborate - I've put some more photos on my homepage. Email me if you'd like the link.

After watching the carnival procession, we caught the tube to Leicester Square and watched The Last Airbender in 3D. I thoroughly enjoyed the film - it had some interesting, complex characters, fantastic effects in 3D, amazing performances and I liked the story. Very much looking forward to the sequel!

After a meal in Yates (one of our favourite eating places in London), we walked back to the Hotel. We'd booked in advance thinking that with it being Bank Holiday weekend and the Notting Hill Carnival, rooms would be hard to find. In fact it looked like there were plenty of vacancies, and lower prices than the online rates. Oh well, can't win 'em all. Earlier in the year I spent a long weekend in Norfolk, and my room there was at the top of the three-storey Guest House, with several narrow staircases and corridors to get there. Same story at the Whiteleaf Hotel, with a tortuous route all through the building and up countless flights of stairs. Despite the many sessions I spend at the gym, my heart was beating pretty fast by the time I was able to put my key in the door and let myself in. When you look at the outside of the buildings in Inverness Terrace, you get the idea that once upon a time, it was a wealthy area. I like the architecture. It's a little sad that the once-gracious proportions of the rooms at the Whiteleaf Hotel are now lost as they've been divided into such small units.

It was reasonably clean but offering none of the refinements (no fridge in the room, no complimentary shampoo/shower gel), and although breakfast was included, all that was on offer was cornflakes and toast. Overall I guess it was cheap enough but I can't recommend it.

Sew creative!

2010-08-23T17:00:00.006+01:00

Today I'm feeling inordinately pleased with myself on two counts :

I began the day with a trip to the gym - always a good way to start the week (not least because of the extra calories I've indulged in over the weekend).

At the weekend I noticed that the plastic peg basket was broken. I also noticed when we were playing Scrabble there was a hole in the letters' bag. This morning I got the sewing machine out and made myself a new letters' bag out of a scrap of green fabric I happened to have lying around, then went on to make a new peg bag from part of an old curtain.

I may have mentioned before that I detested sewing lessons at school, probably because I felt so inept at it. That might go some way to explain why I'm feeling so pleased with my new-found ability to create useful things from material.

Some work, some play

2010-08-22T16:24:00.000+01:00

Had a lovely weekend - Vicky came to visit. Saturday afternoon we went to see the exhibitions on at The Light Box in Woking - 'Escape to Wonderland', a history of children's book illustration, and Lord Snowdon's photographs of artists. Back home we played a game of Scrabble, the first I've played in a long time. It was my mother's favourite game - she played daily with my aunt, and I imagined them watching over our shoulders as we played, whispering tips in our ears.

Dave and Vic had been working hard on the construction of Dave's garden room, so we invited them over in the evening to share a home-made curry with all the trimmings, followed by games of Dominoes and a card game Vicky taught us called, charmingly, 'sh-t-head'. Dave spotted the Scrabble box and commented that there's been a change of rules which has hit the headlines in a major way - apparently you can now use real names. I confess the news had escaped my notice and I can't really understand why the change anyway. Oh well, time moves on.

Sunday Vicky and I went to see 'Step Up' in 3D. There are some amazingly talented dancers out there these days - some of those moves are just mind-boggling - how do their bodies do that?!? Incredible strength and flexibility, I guess.

Ebay Success!

2010-08-20T16:15:00.003+01:00

A post-script to the story of the stool make-over: I listed for sale on ebay the yellow patterned leatherette fabric that came off the seat pad, with the suggestion it could be used as a kitchen floor-covering in a dolls' house. Amazingly there were 6 'watchers' including a lady in Australia who wrote to ask if I'd be prepared to post it overseas. Unfortunately I had restricted the sale to UK bidders only, and wasn't able to amend that aspect, so I had to disappoint her. Nonetheless, the fabric sold for £2.64!

Stool Makeover

2010-08-13T15:52:00.005+01:00

So here it is, the finished job. What you can't see from the photo is the little mistake I made. To remove the seat pad I had to unscrew 6 screws, which I carefully preserved ready to screw it back once it was re-covered. As my staple gun was one of the tools I lost when the allotment shed was burned down by vandals back in December last year, I nipped over to Dave's to borrow his. Only problem was his staples were far too long, so I zipped up to AHC Tools to buy some shorter ones. Whilst I was in the shop, we could see lots of police motorcycle activity outside and one of the shopkeepers explained today is 'Passing Out' day at Sandhurst Royal Military Academy.

Clutching the staple gun and new staples, I exited the shop and went to my car. Where I was parked, I could see a cavalcade of police motorcycles behind me and another one up ahead. It wasn't immediately obvious what I should do ... should I wait in the parked car or use the opportunity of the traffic being stopped to make my getaway ... I chose the getaway and pulled out from the layby. Immediately a policeman zoomed up and motioned me to stop, and then a motorcade of black limousines sped by us towards the Academy. Silly me was so busy watching the policeman, I didn't even think about peering into the limousines to see who was passing by.

Talking of 'passing', I'm told that the 'Passing Out' parade is aptly named, as sometimes one or two will pass out during the course of the day.

Anyway, back to the little mistake ... by the time I got back to Dave's and he helped me staple the new fabric to the wooden base of the seat pad, I'd forgotten to make sure that the screw holes were accessible. Oh well, it seems quite firmly wedged in place, perhaps it won't matter it's not screwed down.

Whilst I was at Dave's, I took the opportunity to photograph the latest stage in the Garden Room construction. It's coming on well, isn't it! Work is going on pause for a few days whilst he enjoys a short break in the South of France. I've agreed to take care of his Senegal parrot whilst he's away.

"To infinity ... and beyond!"

2010-08-10T22:00:00.000+01:00

Yes, folks, I went to see the latest Toy Story in 3D. A friend said it was recommended to him and a little reluctantly I agreed to go along. We went to a showing at 8.25 pm - which seemed a little late to me for what I thought of as a 'kid's film' - but with an audience aged late teens right through to senior citizens, I didn't feel at all out of place. It was brilliant! I thoroughly enjoyed it and can now understand why adults are recommending it to other adults.

The Wine-Making Continues

2010-08-06T12:13:00.005+01:00

Decided today was the day to decant the blackcurrant wine-in-the-making from the bucket to the demi-johns. The funnel I have is quite small. I draped the clean jam muslin over the funnel to strain off any solid matter, with the result that it took a long time to pour the wine into the two demi-johns. I started the job outside, guessing it might be a messy process, and realised it was attracting wasps and flies so I brought everything indoors. I was glad I'd stood the bell jars on trays - as you can see from the photos, a fair amount of wine ended up in the trays. As I looked around at the mess, it reminded me of something that happened a number of years ago: one day I had had a couple of failures in things I'd tried to do, and was making something in the kitchen and even that went wrong. I was starting to sink into self-pity mode, thinking to myself , "I'm no good at ANYTHING", when the little voice in my head offered: "You're very good at making a mess in the kitchen!" - which was absolutely true, I'd got almost every utensil and pan I own dirty and there was a mess over every worktop. I burst out laughing and it banished the self-pity almost before I'd owned it.

One of the things that amazes me is how the jam muslin comes up nice and clean again when you boil it up with some Persil then let it go cold and rinse thoroughly.

Stool Make-Over

2010-08-04T18:00:00.005+01:00

Here's the stool after a couple of coats of paint. Now I'm looking on ebay to see if I can find some reasonably priced leatherette to re-upholster it. There used to be a stall at Farnborough market selling material but it wasn't there when I visited yesterday. There weren't many stalls there at all and I don't know whether that's because it's holiday season or whether the market has generally diminished.

Domestic Goddess?

2010-08-02T21:21:00.004+01:00

A number of years ago I bought this tired kitchen stool at a jumble sale, intending to paint it and give it a new lease of life. Two house moves and 25 years later and finally its time has come! I've bought some claret paint to match the decor in the kitchen and given it a first coat (not shown). I want to find some leatherette or something suitable to re-cover the seat pad.

I also got the sewing machine out and had a go at turning a long-sleeved shirt into a short-sleeved shirt. I wasn't satisfied with the result, despite taking an hour trying to achieve perfection. All good practice, though.

On another note, a friend and I are each going to research 5 potential holidays then choose the one we like best for later in the year. Now where in the world do I want to go?

Inception

2010-07-30T22:02:00.005+01:00

I've mentioned blackcurrants a few times ... this morning I spent three hours over the allotment. I did some weeding then picked some more blackcurrants. Here is today's crop - they're now very ripe, plump little globes of goodness packed with vitamin C - and this bowlful represents about two thirds of one plant's harvest.

After a busy day it was nice to be whisked away to Woking to see Inception. I found it gripping - it didn't have many relaxing moments! Amazing cinematography and special effects - absolutely incredible! Very clever stuff, with an intriguing theme and storyline. I liked how the cast handled it. They seemed natural together and likeable, helping to draw you into the film. The friend who took me recognised a building in the film and on the way home we detoured to see it. That was pretty neat, too.

Salad Days and Home-Made Wine

2010-07-28T22:04:00.007+01:00

At work it seems we're a health-conscious bunch - in the morning the fridge is crammed with everybody's salad lunches. Here's a photo of mine. Colourful, n'est pas?

This year has seen a huge crop of blackcurrants from the allotment. I've made plenty of jam and jelly and after chatting with the lady who runs the gardening group at work, I decided to venture into a little home wine-making. My mother was quite successful with home wine-making, as I recall, but this is my first batch ever*. It's releasing an interesting yeasty aroma at the moment in the first stage of fermentation.
*PS Having written this, I remembered I have made wine before - there were grape vines at my previous home and a number of years ago in another life I tried making wine from the grapes. One batch was drinkable if a little too acidic and I don't think the other batch worked for some reason.

"Go ahead, inconvenience me"

2010-07-22T17:14:00.004+01:00

What is it that prompts us to do something different spontaneously? I have my own theory. Recently I read a blog post by Mark Landreth-Smith. (Follow the link if you'd like to read it yourself). Called 'The 15 Revolution' after a book by Paul Scanlon, Mark's post informed me the book has a motto: "Go ahead, inconvenience me".

Normally when I drive home, I come up College Ride. Today on impulse I used the A30 route. As I was approaching the traffic lights at Caesar’s Camp Road, I noticed on the opposite pavement a cyclist sitting down with the bike lying nearby. It was obvious at first glance the cyclist had come off, with large dark stains all down one side. This much I took in as I sped by. I wanted to get home quick because I needed to use the bathroom (having ignored the inner prompting to use the loo at work before I came away). Then Mark's blog post came to mind – the motto from the book, “Go ahead, inconvenience me”. As a result, I turned around and went back, pulling up alongside the cyclist. I’d thought it was a teenage boy, in fact it was a Slovakian lady in her 50’s cycling home from work. It was clear she had had a nasty fall and was badly bruised and shaken up. Together we managed to load the bike in the back of the car (it’s what estate cars are for) and set off for Blackwater where she was able to direct me to her home. She was very grateful (and I was very grateful to be able to use her bathroom before I came home). Seems the book’s influence is wider than its readership, thanks to the power of the internet!

Norfolk Lavender

2010-07-19T21:58:00.002+01:00

I had the idea that lavender is an important crop in Norfolk so this weekend I went to see it. I'll confess I was the teeniest bit disappointed not to see huge fields of glorious colour, but it was a lovely weekend nonetheless, and the seals at Blakeney Point were one of the highlights. I've written about the weekend at length elsewhere, with photos. Email me if you would like the link. You'll find my email address on my profile page.

Girl on a Motorcycle: Then and Now

2010-07-13T19:12:00.003+01:00

Vicky my biker-chick daughter has now acquired a Yamaha Diversion. As you can see, motorbikes have been 'in her blood' since an early age.

"When I grow up ..."

"It's NOT pink!"

Summer School

2010-07-10T14:45:00.005+01:00

I've been attending some of the Guildford Diocesan Summer School sessions:

Who do you think you are? (Based on Ignatian Spirituality and the Spiritual Disciplines)
Explore your faith
Storytelling and Truth: From Milton to Philip Pullman
Murals of St Martin's Church, Blackheath

Session 3 was led by Dr Anthony Cane, Chancellor of Chichester Cathedral, and he offered us some very interesting thoughts and ideas along with a wealth of quotes from C S Lewis, Philip Pullman, John Milton and JR Tolkien. Are storytellers 'sub-creators', sharing the creative attribute of God? We heard a definition of a parable: 'Truth jumps through the window while the mind is opening the door'.
Today's session began with a visit to St Martin's Church, Blackheath (the smallest village in Surrey). After hearing an abridged history of the village, we turned our attention to the murals decorating the inside of the church. These were painted in the summers of 1894 and 1895 by Anna Lea Merritt, most famous for her portrait, "Love Locked Out".

The writing above the tomb (in the picture below) is Hebrew for Joseph's Place

Helpfully, the signpost proclaims: This Way, That Way, Somewhere Else. What more could you need to know!

That Berry's Busty!

2010-06-28T22:06:00.008+01:00

Recently I introduced myself over the fence to the neighbour who borders the rear of my garden and he invited me to go round and see his wooden figures. Today a friend and I took him up on the offer, and were delighted by his collection. He makes them all out of Lime wood. The Polar bear is bleached Lime. The key and chain is carved out of a single piece of wood. Also delightful was the collection of stories with which he regaled us. Besides the wood-carving, his other hobbies include radio-controlled boats and making dolls houses, then at Christmas as if all that wasn't enough, he dresses up as Father Christmas. A natural born raconteur!

I took him a little dish of freshly picked strawberries from the allotment - excluding this odd shaped one. Don't you think it looks like it has breasts? I think if 'That's Life!' was still on TV, it would have had a starring role.

Labouring in the summer sun

2010-06-25T22:00:00.003+01:00

Knowing the day was going to be sweltering, I went down the allotment early whilst it was still reasonably cool. I was there from 7.30 am to around 9.45 am then went on to the dump to dispose of all the weeds, and from there to Dave's house. He's had the week off working on the construction of his garden room, and he was quick to rope me in as general labourer for the day. We went to Wickes and bought some more ballast, then on to a woodyard - Covers in Aldershot. The guy there was extremely helpful discussing the selection of timber and construction methods. Dave bought 10 hefty beams (see photo for an example) and they helped him load it onto the roof-rack. We took 6 the first trip and came back for the other 4. Between us we managed to get them unloaded and through to the construction area. Then I got on with digging out the holes for the last three footings whilst he mixed the concrete. Some careful measuring, and finally the last three padstones were in place. It was hot, thirsty work. We stopped several times to cool off, drink some water and munch our way through a large bunch of cherries from his neighbour's tree (with his neighbour's permission, of course).

Afterwards he treated me to a KFC for dinner - ahhh, we know how to live! Odd though it sounds, I enjoyed the day. I haven't done so much manual labour recently, and it feels good when your body proves it's still capable.

The photo is a post-script, taken a week later and showing one of the padstones I helped lay, with some of the building's timber framework in place.

Concert, favours, synchronicity

2010-06-18T20:42:00.006+01:00

Last night I went to see Suzanne Vega in concert at The Anvil in Basingstoke. It was my friend's choice - my knowledge of the music scene isn't as extensive as his and I didn't recognise any of her work. Very talented lyricist with a pretty voice. Suzanne told the story behind many of the songs, which made it more interesting. One about New York being a woman led to a conversation with the audience, explaining that at the previous gig in London, she had asked the audience if London was male or female, and been told 'female' ... then asked how that female would be characterised. Someone retorted that if New York was a woman, London was a whore! She put the same question to Basingstoke - would people of Basingstoke characterise the town as male or female. It seemed the majority agreed 'male' and one lady in the front stalls suggested Basingstoke is a 'conservative pig', which had the audience laughing. Suzanne pretended to find inspiration for a whole new song in this.

Today was a nice day. It began with my accustomed reading/meditation on a lesson from 'A Course in Miracles' on the theme of being led by the Voice for Truth: "I will step back and let Him lead the way". I had an early morning phone call from a friend asking if I could do her a favour, and happily I was already planning to visit the place where she was asking me to go as I had an appointment there, so that was an easy favour to grant.

After the phone call, I took some stuff down the municipal dump and went from there to (son) Dave's house. He wasn't at home, but whilst I was parked outside his house a delivery van arrived with something he'd ordered. I unlocked the garage and the delivery man carefully unloaded the large item, delighted that he wouldn't have to come back again some other time. The timing couldn't have been better. I sent Dave a text letting him know and he phoned back equally delighted.

Later still I went to the allotment and picked a handful of ripe strawberries, then back home I had a super text from (daughter) Vicky letting me know she has been offered the job she interviewed for on Monday and asking if I could help her out with something which again was very easy to grant. We arranged that as she's coming up this way at the weekend to attend an old school friend's party, she'll come to visit on Sunday.

Tooth Fairy & Letters to Juliet

2010-06-11T21:44:00.004+01:00

Monday night's treat was a trip to Woking to see The Tooth Fairy which had me laughing out loud. It was an early screening and we had a tasty meal at the Auberge afterwards. Then Thursday night my gallant escort suggested another trip to the cinema, this time for the romantic Letters to Juliet. Given the later start I had time to get home from work and prepare us a simple meal before we went. It was an enjoyable end to a good day - earlier in the day I'd visited a couple of community activities (in my role as a Community Development Worker) and felt a sense of things going ok. I notice I'm dialling back my positivity a notch - I want to say things went well - not sure what that's about unless perhaps a fear that being overly positive could adversely affect outcomes.

The message of The Tooth Fairy is the value of dreams, and interestingly enough, synchronistically enough, the Word For Today has also been exploring the value of dreams and dreamers. As it's now 10 pm, perhaps it's time for me to sign off here and go and dream a little ...

Brighton Beach & George Benson

2010-06-03T23:51:00.005+01:00

A friend wanted to go and see George Benson in concert. We checked out the tour dates and settled on Brighton, as I'd previously expressed a desire to go and see the Brighton Pavilion. I drove us down there, leaving around 9.45 am and taking the 'A' roads rather than the motorway. We stopped for coffee en route and arrived in Brighton in time for lunch.

On our list of places to visit were the delightful St Anne's Well Gardens where we had a lovely lunch in the busy little cafe. A combination of the beautiful summer weather and half-term school holidays had drawn out lots of families.

Here's the Royal Pavilion. The exotic architecture looks fantastic against a clear summer-blue sky.

I love the way this photo captures the very essence of a British seaside town, with a gull flying past a sign for fish and chips in the lower right-hand corner, and the fairground at the end of the pier in the upper left corner (not to mention the pebble beach and the merry-go-round).

I'll confess I didn't enjoy the concert as much as some of the others we've been to and I was glad to get home and climb wearily into my bed after a delightful yet tiring day at the seaside.

One small step for womankind

2010-05-28T20:52:00.007+01:00

My mother was a very practical person, good at carpentry, decorating and sewing. When I was growing up, she occasionally made me lovely clothes. When she died, I inherited her old Singer electric sewing machine and sadly not her expertise. I used it for doing very simple stuff until I managed to get some thread stuck in it. I took it along to a specialist mechanic and he showed me what was broken. Between us we came to the conclusion it was beyond economic repair and I bought this beautiful refurbished machine in its place. That was in March - and it has sat in its box ever since. Today I was waiting in for a phone call and decided it was time to unpack it. It has a self-threading feature - very handy when your eyesight's maybe not as sharp as it was.

What a joy it is - you can set the speed really slow so that it stitches one stitch at a time rather than running away with you the instant you step on the pedal. So far I've only repaired a couple of pillowcases, but having discovered how easy it is to use, I'm encouraged to have a go at hemming a pair of walking trousers next.

It was a day of small triumphs. There were a couple of dead shrubs in the garden and I've now lifted those and put them ready to take down the dump tomorrow; I've cut the grass front and back, and changed the bulb in the light in the understairs cupboard. It's a bulkhead light with a protective metal cage held in place with a small screw, so once more I wielded that trusty Phillips-head screwdriver, and once more gained a sense of accomplishment.

Back in 2008 I had an operation to excise a small area of breast tissue affected by Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS). Yesterday I went back to the hospital for the annual mammogram to check there has been no recurrence, and found myself sitting next to one of the nurses from Wingfield Ward (there escorting a patient). It was nice catching up with each other's news, and being able to tell her I'm now back to work.

The House at Cat Poo Corner

2010-05-23T15:37:00.004+01:00

Here's a problem that is vexing -
moral question quite perplexing -
when a cat poops in my garden
should I offer it a pardon?

I confess to you, my forgiving readers: recently I did an officially 'not-very-nice' thing. Yes, I've checked my actions out with a trusted friend who assures me it is definitely not the thing to do if I want my neighbours to like me. Who of us wouldn't prefer our neighbours to like us?

Are you burning with curiosity to know what I did? Dare I tell you? But you might not like me! You might not leave nice comments on my blog! What? Oh yes, that's right - you don't leave nice comments anyway. Ok, I guess it's safe then.

Early one morning as I strolled in my garden enjoying the blue skies and golden sunshine and proudly checking out the newly sown flowerbed-in-the-making, I noticed a fresh fecal deposit in said seedbed. As mentioned in a previous blog post , the garden appears to serve as the public cat-litter box. Carefully with a garden trowel, I lifted this undesirable gift and just as carefully deposited it through the open trellis fencing into the neighbour's garden, inwardly justifying my action as one does in such matters by saying that it was not my property, and I was merely returning it to the owner.

Subsequently I advertised on freecycle for chicken wire or the like to lay across the ground in order to deter further unwanted deposits, and the photo shows the mesh panels I received in response to my request. These haven't been quite as successful as I'd hoped, the sure-footed culprits merely selecting the fringes of the area which the panels don't quite cover. Besides the mesh panels I received a couple of, um... 'helpful' suggestions:
1)grow a lemon tree. Apparently this is a sure-fire way of letting cats know your garden is off-limits. No explanation on how this works was offered.
2) scatter the ground with half-full plastic water bottles. No data on how many bottles per square metre was supplied. I suppose if there were sufficient, there would be no room for the cats to walk. How the seedlings would fare as they tried to emerge under the weight of the bottles is also undocumented.

So there you have it, folks. I know the Bible is very clear on the principle of 'turning the other cheek' should the enemy smite you on one cheek. I suppose going the extra mile in this instance would be creating an inviting custom built dirt box as I read about on this blog. (the link will take you to another webpage - scroll down to read how Mad Wicca dealt with her own cat's toileting needs). Will I be doing that in the near future? Answers on a postcard, please - or why not use the comments link below?

Competent Person

2010-05-20T16:27:00.004+01:00

When I got home from work today (and it feels good to be able to say that) there was a loud alarm tone sounding once every minute. I have two smoke detectors: one at the top of the stairs, one at the bottom; my initial assumption was that the battery needed replacing on one of these. I found the owner's manual and set about changing the batteries - only to fail at the first hurdle when I discovered the alarm at the bottom of the stairs doesn't have a replaceable battery. It was installed free of charge by the Fire Service last autumn when they were doing house-to-house fire safety visits, and according to the sticker on the bottom, should last until 2017. I took the upstairs alarm down and removed the battery on that, only to realise that the alarm tone was still sounding every minute, and definitely coming from somewhere downstairs.

I went back down again and looked around the kitchen, wondering what other piece of kit might be responsible. The Carbon Monoxide detector, of course! It's installed almost at ceiling height and doesn't catch the eye. I found the owner's manual for that and was a little put-off to read that only a competent person should attempt to change the batteries. Not only that, you need a small Phillips head screwdriver to remove two screws in the backplate in order to access the battery. Hmmmm. It's a very loud tone - I could imagine any incompetent person smashing the device with a heavy hammer if it started beeping every minute in the early hours!

Needless to say I don't happen to have a spare 9 volt battery. However, I did manage to find an appropriately sized Phillips head screwdriver and removed the old one. What a relief.

I put the battery back in the upstairs smoke detector and pressed the reset button, and for a while that started emitting an occasional mournful chirp complaining of a low battery, but after a while it settled down again.

So there you have it. Me a member of the general workforce AND wielding a screwdriver without supervision! Is there no end to this lady's accomplishments?

Early Start

2010-05-18T18:21:00.003+01:00

Now I'm back to work I'm keen to create a healthy routine. This morning I was out on the mountain bike over the common for half an hour before 7 am - how's that for keen! It was a gorgeous morning. I didn't tackle any gradients too strenuous, partly because the fitness level needs to improve to accomplish them and partly because - to be totally honest - I haven't quite got the hang of the gears yet. Even on the gentle inclines I was climbing, I had to stop pedalling halfway, get off and push the bike up the rest. My previous bike had only 3-speed Sturmey-Archer gearing and I didn't do any off-roading as far as I can recall, so it's all new to me. Exhilarating, though!

Befriending Workshop

2010-05-15T20:00:00.006+01:00

I'm a member of a group called Mental Health Links (an inter-denominational group consisting of representatives from the local Christian churches). Links are the steering committee for the Spiritual Journeying group. We were invited to attend a 'Befriending Workshop' in Battersea today, (organised by the Association for Pastoral Care in Mental Health) to talk about the Spiritual Journeying group as a successful befriending model. I was the only Link available and was very happy to put a few words together and go along.

The workshop was due to begin at 10 am with coffee. I hooked up the SatNav and left home around 8 am. There were no holdups and I arrived at 9 am. I'd thought about parking in Battersea park, but happily there was room to park (free) in the street almost outside the venue.

It was a gorgeous morning: blue sky and golden sunshine highlighting the delicate shades of spring green. I went for a walk in the park, marvelling as always at the tranquility and beauty of our parks right in the heart of such a bustling capital city. I noticed what I thought was a group of heron statues and strolled closer, to discover they weren't statues at all! Then I found a bench in the sunshine and sat meditating for a while. It put me in a very mellow mood for the workshop.

All Saints Church doesn't look much like a church from the outside and inside there were some decidely eclectic decor choices - a gothic chandelier dangling low in the open space, quite fitting with the elaborately carved wooden framed settee and matching chair stood to one side of the doorway, yet contrasting with the huge modern art canvases; a large modern glass-fronted display cabinet all along one wall brimful of souvenirs and emblems of other cultures and nationalities, including a set of russian dolls, buddha statuettes, hindu gods - not to mention a copy of the Bhagavad-Gita nestling comfortably beside a Bible. All in all, it made a very powerful statement.

Richard, the facilitator for the day, began by inviting us to break into small groups and come up with definitions for 'friendship' and 'befriending' before we heard about a successful befriending scheme which has been operating in Merton and surrounding areas for over 10 years. Then we heard from the Battersea Befriending Network, and just before lunch it was my turn to speak about Spiritual Journeying group. Afterwards I fielded a few questions.

I was made to feel welcome and comfortable chatting with people over lunch, being invited to submit an article for the APCMH newsletter, and felt very pleased with how the day had gone as I drove home. By now traffic had built up and it took me as long to travel the first couple of miles from Battersea to Chelsea as it did to travel the remaining 30 odd miles home.

Loss of a friend

2010-05-14T16:23:00.003+01:00

I heard today that a friend has died unexpectedly. He was a lovely man, wise in some ways, foolish in others - aren't we all? He was someone I have turned to for a sympathetic ear, for help with a task I'd undertaken, for being able to offer the kind words I wanted to receive. He leaves behind a young daughter and a sense of my world having lost someone special.

The First Day, The Last Song

2010-05-10T23:01:00.002+01:00

Started work today - it felt great! The people are muy simpático (ok, that's exhausted my Spanish vocabulary). I think I'm going to enjoy the work. Then this evening I went to see Miley Cyrus in The Last Song and enjoyed that, too. Once again my friend and I took advantage of the bargain Monday at Woking cinema which tends to be surprisingly under-utilised - there were just 9 people in the theatre for the film.

Busy Day

2010-05-03T21:32:00.003+01:00

Dave (son) asked me to give him a hand sorting out some paperwork and other stuff. Between us we got the paperwork thinned out to the point it would all fit in his expanding file. It took a while! Then we started on the stash of assorted items for which he has no further use (including this meccano kit), listing them on ebay or cheapcycle. After that he came and put up a glass shelf for me in the lounge.

Cross cat

2010-05-01T19:48:00.006+01:00

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

A couple of days ago I woke with a start, aware there had been a strange noise downstairs. I lay quietly listening for a moment or two and concluded it must have been an early postal delivery. When I went downstairs there was no post, but I noticed a clump of ginger cat hair under the table in the dining area and vaguely wondered where it had come from.

Later on as I was watering the house plants I discovered a piece of silver gaffer tape lying near the patio doors. The previous occupants had taped up the cat flat in the patio windows with silver gaffer tape - I checked, and sure enough the cat flat was no longer firmly sealed. Piecing the evidence together, I began to wonder if the noise I had heard was a cat going out of the cat flap. There's a large ginger tom in the neighbourhood which is highly unpopular with all the other cat owners. They say that ever since he was involved in a road traffic accident, he became vicious to an extreme. I surmised the clump of ginger hair could have been his.

Sure enough, today as I was coming downstairs I heard the sound of the cat flap closing, and was in time to see the ginger tom walking away down the garden. It's bad enough that the garden serves as a public convenience for the neighbourhood cats - there are at least 7 regular visitors. I don't want them finding their way indoors, too. Today I made sure the flap was sealed shut again. This evening I was sitting watching TV when I noticed the ginger cat, nose pressed against the cat flap, glowering at me, his tail twitching with rage! Boy, did he look disgruntled!

PS Later in the evening I heard a cat scrabbling at the cat flap - I drew back the curtain and a black and white cat miaoued at me, asking to be let in. Seems the ginger tom wasn't the only intruder whilst the cat flap was unsealed.

Success!

2010-04-26T18:18:00.002+01:00

Had an interview at 9.30 am this morning, and this afternoon when I got home after a meeting there was a message on the ansaphone asking me to ring the employer. Great news! They've offered me the job! I'll be doing it on a trial basis initially, 17 hours a week, starting Monday 10th May.

Ulverston

2010-04-23T23:00:00.003+01:00

I promised more on the weekend in Cumbria.

Ulverston is the birthplace of Stan Laurel of Laurel and Hardy fame. There is a museum dedicated to them, plus this statue.

The walk to Ulverston from Swarthmoor Hall takes you on a pretty route across this beautifully clear stream. It really was a delight given the summerlike weather of the weekend.

Just to help set the context for the weekend, regular readers may remember that I have a daily habit of reading 'The Word for Today'. Friday's reading helpfully suggested having a 'not-to-do' list, that Jesus wants us to enjoy a rich, satisfying life without getting bogged down in things that don't add value or meaning. Saturday's reading was about being fruitful, with the promise:

'whether you've fallen into the dirt or just settled for living beneath your potential, God won't throw you away. He will lift you, cleanse you and help you to flourish again.'

Both readings seemed relevant to where my life is 'at'.

It was recommended that to get the most out of the workshops, attendees read Rex Ambler's 'Light to Live By', and I was able to borrow this from the local Quaker meeting's library. The book details the author's own journey of discovery. Rex explains his seeking became very insistent when he reached a place in his life where he was experiencing two troubling issues, including personal difficulties with a close relationship.

He began researching the early Quaker movement, recognising there had been something very real there that had enabled those Friends to overcome difficult circumstances retaining their deep inner peace and calm in the face of persecution - much as the early New Testament church grew despite persecution. Sifting through historical documents, he became aware that references to 'the light' were key to understanding this power.

Meanwhile he came across psychologist Gendlin's 'focusing' therapy. Putting the two together, Ambler formulated a way of accessing the inner light through meditation.

The Experiment with Light workshop was about preparing us for a deep personal encounter with the 'inner light', sometimes referred to as 'that which is of god within us'. The light meditation itself is to lead us to the voice of Truth that lights our conscience. For me it seemed the theme I sensed within was gentle correction and of being heard/accepted. I felt I received an invitation to 'come as you are' - possibly in response to my own thoughts regretting recent lack of discipline in relation to diet/eating. Looking back, I recognised a feeling of irritation when someone demonstrated a lack of listening - and I thought back to my childhood feeling that my mother never totally accepted me as I was, but also that perhaps that's what I've inadvertently done to others, bringing my own experience of imperfect conditional love to the people around me. A friend from college days came to mind, but rather than allow the light to show me why, I found myself rationalising that this was because my friend had never felt totally accepted by me, had felt I was trying to change her all the time.

My notes record 'The fear of doing things wrong' - I recall during the meditation wondering if I was 'doing it right', and felt that this was answered by some song lyrics that came to mind, including the phrase 'if it's my all, it is enough'.

Afterwards I realised I had been relaxed enough during the meditation to be unaware of bodily sensations for a while.

We had been advised that sometimes something is begun during the meditation that will continue later, and sure enough that night as I lay in bed I had a vivid mental picture of a clay fountain/well with a clay water vessel, then images of a clear river and looking down into the water, seeing the green fronds, then either a 'white water' river or possibly the same river under different light conditions now reflecting the white of the sky. In my mind I asked what it meant. It seemed to be about taking words of encouragement and refreshment from within. Next morning in the shower I spontaneously began to thank God for water to drink, water to wash with and water to irrigate crops. Afterwards I linked this to the previous night's images.

The promise in Sunday's 'Word for the Day': if your response to the pruning process is right, you'll begin to move from barrenness to blessing.

Coming soon - more on the weekend

2010-04-22T22:05:00.003+01:00

I had a de-light-ful weekend with the Quakers at the historic Swarthmoor Hall(pictured here). More on this in due course. Meanwhile normal life continues. Today I attended an interview for an exciting position - I thoroughly enjoyed the interview and I hope that bodes well for my prospects! Funny thing, I'd been warned there would be an IT Test, so this week I've been revising all those amazing features in Word, Excel and Outlook that I haven't had much cause to use recently ... only to discover that the test was in two parts, neither requiring any in-depth knowledge of software. In the first part I was given some information and had to construct a suitable letter, type it out and save it to the desktop. Part 2 posed a scenario and invited me to make notes on how I would handle it.

After the interview I met with some friends for lunch (and got to cuddle baby Olive for a while .... big sigh of satisfaction), then came home to discover an invitation to attend an interview on Monday. It's for a job which will require some specialist knowledge, and to make sure I'm fully up-to-date, I've borrowed some library books to get genned up before Monday.

Another Interview

2010-04-16T17:48:00.001+01:00

I've been invited to interview for a job that sounds rather interesting next Thursday. I'll also be tested on my IT skills. Hopefully I'll have time to remind myself of some of the features I haven't used in a while before then.

Experiment with Light... and salmon fishcakes

2010-04-15T14:23:00.005+01:00

Well my lovelies, I'm going away for a residential weekend with the Religious Society of Friends (you probably know them as the Quakers). It's an 'Experiment with Light' weekend, trying to experience the Light as early Friends did, supposedly a very powerful experience. If nothing else, the surroundings are beautiful - it's up in Cumbria.

Yesterday I went to the Spiritual Journeying group. It wasn't my turn to lead, I could sit back and relax - very pleasant. One of my colleagues there commented on how the peace and joy I've found through connecting with the inner light is radiating from me. It's working then! Hopefully I'll have some more to share on the subject upon my return.

Dinner today was also an experiment - home-made salmon, dill and spring onion fish-cakes. I was making it up as I went along and the resulting mixture was perhaps a little sloppy, not lending itself completely to the perfect shaping I was looking for. Surprisingly bland, too - but plenty of tomato ketchup soon improved things on that score. Served with oven-roast sweet pepper and petits pois. I got the idea from an item I saw on a menu yesterday. A friend took me out for a meal at Bluebeckers in Chobham, and from there we drove on to Woking intending to see the film 'Dear John'. Unfortunately it was being screened in the smallest theatre and despite getting there three quarters of an hour early, all seats were sold. That was a big surprise! Normally we go on a Monday night when tickets are only £5 each, despite which the place is often almost empty. I guess Wednesday night attracts the 'Orange Wednesday' bargain-hunters.

Came back home and watched a DVD I'd borrowed from the library: 'A Serious Man'. I really, really, REALLY didn't get it one little bit ... sat through the whole film waiting to understand what the opening scene was all about and how it fitted into the rest ... and couldn't quite believe it when the titles started rolling, leaving me with the sense that the film had been abandoned halfway through. Hmmm... definitely not one of my better choices.

Another rejection

2010-04-14T17:25:00.005+01:00

The weather has been glorious lately and I've been taking a few walks over the Old Dean Common. There's a place I like to sit and meditate, allowing my peace to merge with the peace of the woods. This sign greets you at the entrance to the woods and amuses me - I think the picture looks more like a mobility scooter than a motorcycle - yes folks, keep those mobility scooters out of our woods! No tearing up the peace, disturbing the wildlife! As if!

Well, today I received yet another rejection letter to add to my growing pile. Apparently again a close-run second ... "I regret to say that on this occasion you were unsuccessful. It was a close decision between you and another candidate but overall the other candidate demonstrated a greater capacity to deal with the business sector, which is a central part of this role." I knew I hadn't come across as well as I might at the interview, having been thrown significantly by the muddly way the interview began. No more interviews arranged at present, and only 3 more applications outstanding. All I can do for the moment is make the most of the lovely weather and the free time. No great hardship there, then.

Neighbourhood Junction

2010-04-09T17:03:00.004+01:00

Where I lived before, the neighbours pretty much kept themselves to themselves but round here there's more sense of community. I came back from shopping earlier, had some lunch and was about to do the washing up when the doorbell rang - it was Louise asking to use my computer to go on a price comparison website (she's getting a car soon and wanted to find a good deal on car insurance). After she left I did the washing up and the doorbell rang again - this time it was the youngster from next door and her friend. We made Queen cakes then played some card games and the time flew by ... and all those things I had intended to do today didn't get done but it was worth it to see those little faces laughing and having fun.

Welcome Summer Weather

2010-04-09T11:26:00.006+01:00

I made the most of yesterday's sunshine by getting the potatoes and climbing bean plants in and sowing two rows of parsnip seeds. Whilst I was over the allotment I received a call to my mobile. A couple of weeks ago I interviewed for a secretarial position at a small company, and it was the director letting me know my application was unsuccessful. Once again I received some very positive feedback - my CV was great and laid out well, etc. etc. - it's just the fact I've not been in paid employment for three years now and being a small company they weren't quite willing to take a chance on me, but they will keep my details on file in case their appointee fails to perform to expectation.

Today I went down the gym. It's been a while.

The gym has a large car park: a few spaces immediately alongside near the front entrance, many more at the back of the building. Years ago you could use the back door to enter the building from the rear car park but these days that door is out of general use with a big sign on it "No Exit! This door is alarmed". If you park in the rear car park, you've a walk of about 100m, maybe a little more, to the front entrance.

So I'm going to the gym. I'm going there to get some exercise. Where do I want to park? Well, in one of those spaces near the entrance of course, to save myself the 100 metre walk. But hey, I'm not alone! Some people are so keen to save themselves that extra walk that they'll abandon the car on the pavement rather than drive round the back and park in a legitimate space. Now where is the logic in this? It's the sort of human foible I can imagine Michael Mcintyre poking fun at.

Ok, today I drive past all those illegally parked cars feeling a little smug because I'm going to do the logical thing and ENJOY that 100 metre walk in the glorious sunshine. Aren't I the smart one!

Once you've gone in the main entrance, you then walk all the way through the building to the back where the members' changing rooms are located. The ladies' changing room has lockers round three sides, two cloakroom/changing benches in the middle and a mirror and shelf along one wall with three hairdryers.

I don't know what it's like in the gents' changing room - in my mind's eye, I picture men strutting round naked all but doing Mr Universe poses and wearing signs round their necks proudly pointing down at their tackle - but on the whole, us ladies tend to be a modest lot. In fact one acquaintance who came with me for her first visit last year took one look at the communal changing room and never set foot in it again! Normally you'll find we're fully dressed when standing at the mirrors drying our hair - hence my surprise today to find a scene like a lingerie advert: a very shapely lady drying her beautiful long dark hair wearing only sexy red underwear. I suppose if I had her figure (and underwear!), I might feel inclined to expose myself too.

Back home the postman brought yet another rejection letter. The jobhunt continues.

Interview

2010-04-07T14:31:00.005+01:00

I was the first interviewee and the panel (3 worthy ladies) was still settling itself in and getting comfortable. I'd phoned the day before to clarify whether there would be any equipment set up to do a PowerPoint presentation and been told there wouldn't, so I'd lugged the laptop along, only to discover that they'd had a change of heart and had set up a laptop, projector and screen. Nonetheless I set up my laptop on their table and did the show from there, as that was what I was geared up to do. I was thrown a little when one member of the panel invited me to give them a presentation on "Why I want the job" ... as this bore no resemblance to the title I'd been given. What a relief to receive the confirmation that the presentation I'd researched so thoroughly was actually on the right topic! Phew!

The next difficult point to negotiate was that the letter hadn't given a time-limit, it had merely said 'you will be asked to give a short presentation'. Before I began the slide-show, I explained it would last about 10 minutes, was that ok? The lady Chairman looked a little put out and told me the letter had said 5 minutes - fortunately I had the letter with me and was able to refer to it and offer as a point of information that it hadn't stated a specific time.

Normally I'm fairly cool calm and collected for interviews but on this occasion I think I may have come across a bit like a rabbit caught in headlights, struggling with some of the questions. I do think I'd be competent in the job, I believe it is well within my capabilities and I think I'd enjoy it, but I suppose because I felt I'd not got off on the right foot from the beginning, I was finding it difficult to shake off that soggy start and leave them with a good impression. Oh well - the decision is out of my hands now. I consoled myself with a real 'comfort-eating' meal, home-made Shepherds Pie served with steamed broccoli, leeks and fine green beans. It did the trick - I feel comforted.

Easter

2010-04-05T22:00:00.002+01:00

Vicky (daughter) came to visit Easter Sunday / Monday and Dave (son) came to join us for Sunday roast. It was lovely having them both round, the house ringing with good-natured joshing and laughter, not to mention the sound of really bad piano playing and rubbish duets! In typical fashion, Dave had left his Easter-egg buying until the last minute, finding a Disney Easter-egg hunt kit for Vicky consisting of several wrapped sweets and mini chocolate eggs plus a little metal bucket with a picture of Eeyore (her favourite Disney character) on. Of course she insisted he then hide the sweets so she could do the Easter egg hunt, and between them they had me practically rolling around helpless with laughter.

Dinner included a Capri Salad starter using fresh Basil from the aerogarden - simple and delicious! Dessert was my trademark lemon cheesecake with an identity crisis - I make a gluten-free sponge, soak it with coffee and marsala wine (a tiramisu base, in other words) then whisk up the juice and zest of two lemons with a tin of condensed milk and a tub of mascarpone and spoon it on top. Tiramicheesecake? Whatever, it's delish.

Dutifully they listened to my presentation, made encouraging remarks and offered some suggestions for improvement. I think I'm all set for the interview on Wednesday.

Procrastinating

2010-04-02T11:25:00.009+01:00

I've heard it referred to as 'sharpening pencils' - that activity which appears to be related to preparation for the main task but which, in reality, is procrastination. So I've had plenty of time to prepare a presentation for my forthcoming interview and I've put in many hours sitting at the computer 'doing research' and jotting notes without really achieving very much. When you read books on how to write, it would appear that aspiring writers tend to live in households where if nothing else, the pencils are sharp and ready for use.

This morning I was dutifully sitting at the computer not achieving very much. There was a ring at the doorbell - I wasn't expecting visitors but hey, it was an excuse to move away from the computer and my failure to produce a winning presentation. At the door was one of the little girls who came to the Mother's Day card craft session a couple of weeks ago, holding a bouquet of beautiful carnations and a box of chocolates. Quelle bonne surprise!

I've been invited round for lunch at a friend's today - it was a spontaneous invitation yesterday and I haven't had a chance to go shopping and buy a hostess gift, so I have a little confession - rather than eat the chocolates, I'm going to present them to my friend.

Colour coordinated kitchen

2010-04-01T16:04:00.004+01:00

My friends could probably tell you without having to think very hard that I've never paid too much attention to colour coordinating. I can appreciate and admire others' colour sense, for instance from the first moment I set eyes on this kitchen, I liked it - it was definitely an influential factor in my buying this house.

The old hand-towels I brought with me from my previous home are a bit past their best, and I decided to buy some colour coordinated new ones. I'd been given an M&S voucher, so it was the obvious place to start looking. They didn't have any in the red (burgundy? Morello cherry?), so I bought a couple of lovely luxurious-feeling charcoal coloured hand-towels to go with the colour of the worktop and floor tiles. Then in town today I noticed a new linen shop offering this burgundy towel (see photo). What do you think? Not a bad match, eh? Before you know it I'll be wearing colour-coordinated outfits, with matching handbag and shoes ... or not.

At the moment for some unknown reason my emotions seem a lot closer to the surface than usual - unexpectedly I shed more than a few tears when I learned today that my application for the audio-typing position was unsuccessful. Strange, 'cos I wasn't even aware of really wanting it.

Tea Tree Oil

2010-03-31T16:49:00.005+01:00

A couple of years ago at the opticians I learned I had something called 'Blepharitis', caused by eyelid mites, and that I should regularly wash my eyelashes with baby shampoo. At a more recent optician appointment, I was advised to increase the regularity of this ritual, to make it a daily thing. In fact it seemed the more I washed, the worse the problem. Then I looked online to see if there were any words of advice. I found an eye specialist talking about treatment with tea tree oil. It seemed worth a try, particularly as I already had some tea tree oil. Twice a day for a week, I dropped five drops of tea tree oil into a bowl of warm water which I then scooped up in my hands and used to wash my face, eyes lightly closed but paying particular attention to ensure they received a thorough dousing. At the end of the week sure enough, the Blepharitis was cured and shows no sign of recurrence a month later.

For Mother's Day, my son gave me a book called 'Grow your own drugs' (natural remedies for common ailments, NOT the illicit so called 'recreational' drugs). It mentions tea tree oil as a natural anti-fungal treatment - and buoyed with its success at treating the Blepharitis, I decided to give it a go at treating a long-standing fungal infection of a toe-nail. Back in June last year my GP offered a choice of either applying a topical treatment directly to the nail or taking an anti-fungal tablet. I chose the topical treatment and for 6 months applied the special nail lacquer to the affected nail. When the treatment pack ran out, I didn't bother going back for another box as there didn't appear to be any noticeable improvement. I put the problem to one side ... until last week. I mixed a few drops of tea tree oil with some sweet almond oil and began painting it on the fungal toe-nail daily. Unfortunately I didn't think to take a photo before starting but I took one today so I can chart any further developments pictorially.

Busy day

2010-03-30T22:00:00.004+01:00

I had an interview for a position at a local organisation at 9 am today. Knowing how bad the traffic and the queue for the car park can be, originally I'd planned to catch the bus but with the rain varying from 'tipping it down' to 'torrential', I decided to take the car. I left plenty of time and managed to arrive half an hour early. It seems the ticket machine wasn't working, the barriers to the car park were up and cars were streaming in so I followed suit. I passed some time in a book shop before heading on up to the interview. I had to take an audio-typing test which seemed to go ok, although I'd never used a digital transcription machine before. I didn't feel I gave a very good impression at the interview - could probably still do with brushing up my technique. The good news is when I came out, one of the exit barriers was up at the car park and I was able to sail out again without having a ticket.

Afterwards I took myself to a 'Prayer labyrinth' that has been set up in a local church. I hadn't anticipated quite how powerful it would be - I found stuff from my childhood surfacing that I didn't realise I was still harbouring jealousy over - it was a real surprise, perhaps triggered in part by the big impression the happy family in 'The Blindside' had made on me (it's based on a true story).

In the afternoon I made a couple of desserts - a banoffee pie and a tiramisu (see photos) - ready for tonight's bring and share supper party at my place. There were 6 of us plus baby Olive and I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.

Brilliant: The Blindside

2010-03-29T14:36:00.002+01:00

Had hoped to hear by now the outcome of an interview I attended on Friday, but so far nothing. To cheer myself up I bought this bunch of vibrantly colourful Germini.

I received an interesting email from a Friend which challenged some preconcieved notions and assumptions. I appreciate that kind of challenge.

Went to see the film which won Sandra Bullock 'Best Actress' - The Blindside. Thoroughly enjoyed it! I laughed out loud at the funny bits and even shed a few tears over the poignant bits (very unusual for me). Sandra Bullock rates as one of my most favourite actresses anyway, but even my friend (who doesn't rate her so highly) had to admit she deserved the accolade for her performance. I liked the values the film depicted and to see an example of what I'm guessing would rate as an 'exceptionally healthy family' according to Robin Skynner and John Cleese's take on 'Families and how to survive them'.

Through a glass darkly

2010-03-26T22:00:00.002Z

I'll come back to the title shortly. First I want to talk about synchronicity. I had an email from (son) Dave about my last blog post. Seems on the day I was writing about Douglas Adams and the quantum computer of life, he'd been thinking on the exact same topic. I love it when that happens.

On Thursday evening I went to a Quaker Study Session based on Rex Ambler's work considering the origins of the Quaker movement. We looked at Words of Sarah Jones (as published in "Light's Appearance in the Truth", 1650). Sarah advises that we rest in 'the eternal word', rather than in any manifestations proceeding from the word; to live in the purity and simplicity of truth which has power rather than holding onto the 'form'.

This teaching fits very well with the other works I'm reading: "The Miracle of Mindfulness" by Thich Nhat Hanh and "A Course in Miracles", both of which encourage he who seeks peace on earth to recognise that the peace dwells within and when we seek that inner peace, we can look beyond the world manifested by ego and see reality... which leads me to the title of this article. 'Through a glass darkly' comes from a biblical quote: 1 Corinthians 13 (King James Version), 'For now we see through a glass, darkly'. The Message version suggests 'We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist'. "A Course in Miracles" teaches that my grievances obscure the light; obscure the miracles that the world would offer if set free (through my forgiveness) to do so. In other words, when I look at the world through the distorting lens of my perception, I'm not seeing the true picture, but something akin to Plato's shadows on a cave wall. Recently I read Betty Eadie's book, 'Embraced by the Light' which also speaks of the earthly world as reflecting our thoughts, and the freedom to see the full and true beauty of reality once released from the prison of the body.

At the study evening, one of the questions for discussion was: are there pros and cons of using words, internally or as vocal ministry? We happened to have three physicists in the room, all of them familiar with Stephen Hawking's book, "A Brief History of Time" (in a room of 9 people - how unrepresentative is that of the population?). One of these worthy gentlemen likened the structure of 'self' to the structure of a black hole as described by Hawking: the majority of our being is non-verbal and highly responsive to all that surrounds it, this response mediated by the 'crust' of our 'chattering verbal self - the ego', thus words effectively forming the 'event horizon' of self (if I've understood correctly).

The study evening included this quote (from Quaker writings, 1659):

Let us in the simplicity of truth abide and dwell... that we be not again led back into the errors of those who went before us, who left the power and got into the form ... but that all they (the ones who come after) may be directed and left to the truth, in it to live and walk, and by it guided ... Wherefore, in love and tenderness ... may (we) all in the unity of the Spirit dwell in the pure wisdom, that none may exercise lordship or dominion over another, nor the person of any be set apart, but as they continue in the power of truth, that truth itself in the body may reign, not persons nor forms ... that our path may be as the way of a ship in the sea, which no deceit can follow or imitate.

Further synchronicity: with that image of the ship in my mind, the next morning I came to the reading from 'The Word for Today': When men first learned to navigate the seas by using the stars, a whole new world opened up to them. A common saying in those days was, 'He who is a slave to the compass enjoys the freedom of the open sea.' The devotional went on to encourage readers to let Christ be our compass in life.

Qubits, agnostics and the quantum computer of life

2010-03-22T08:52:00.005Z

Apologies to those of you who were disappointed that my last blog post, 'Is religious belief rational?', didn't actually address the title question. Some of you may have noticed that I left out the agnostic position. It wasn't that I didn't think about it. At the time I was thinking that perhaps religious belief is a dimension with agnostics sitting somewhere in between the two extremes. Since then I've read an essay which mentions qubits. It set me thinking.

To explain a little, a computer uses binary logic - a 'bit' is a unit of information, either 0 or 1 (like a switch either off or on). A qubit has many more possible states: 0, 1, or anywhere in between simultaneously.

If we were looking for a way to represent belief as it is expressed in a population, that would fit the bill so much better than binary logic, don't you think?

I'm not sure how you pronounce qubits but I've been making it rhyme with cubits, the favoured unit of measurement for Noah's ark-construction efforts. Since scientists began mapping genomes, I've often thought that the biblical story of Noah's ark doesn't belong in the kind of reality generally ascribed to our historical notions, that it fits better in an alternative version of reality (or maybe our 'future'), with Noah being an organisation dedicated to preserving the genome of every living species on the planet by computer mapping so that the species can be recreated at whim.

But that's going off at a tangent. Back to the thread of this post: qubits, agnostics and the quantum computer of life.

I got to thinking about how each individual is an expression of ancestral genes on a physical level and an expression of thoughts/feelings/choices on a consciousness level. What if Douglas Adams wasn't so far out, and we are a quantum computer?

I suppose that still begs the question: who is at the keyboard?

Is religious belief rational?

2010-03-19T11:24:00.002Z

I've had a couple of appointments in town this week and with the balmy weather it's been pleasant to walk down (a distance of 1.7 miles). On the way I pass one of those trendy hair-stylists with arty portraits of extreme hairstyles. To amuse myself, I give them names so here's a little game for you - I'll give you my name for the style and you guess what it looks like!

'Blindside'

'Time up'

'Painting by numbers'

How did you get on? Have you got some vivid images in your head?

Last night I went to a public lecture organised by the Chaplaincy at Reading University titled 'Is religious belief rational?' by John Cottingham, Professor Emeritus of Philosophy. Influenced by the lively, creative Royal Institution Christmas lectures that are aired on TV, I'd anticipated something rather different to the somewhat dry, academic nature of the evening and a lot of it went over my head, particularly the questions afterwards. Do you ever get the feeling that the people who love to ask questions at events like that are really doing it to draw attention to themselves rather than because they have been paying close attention to the lecture and are curious about something that has been said? No? Just me, then. Anyway, back to the lecture. My understanding is that Mr Cottingham was saying whilst he couldn't offer cast-iron proof of God's existence, the alternative view ('there is no God') was downright uncomfortable and irrational.

It struck me as being oppositional thinking (with the Richard Dawkins' supporters on the opposing team) rather than being, shall we say, 'Zenlike' or thinking influenced by the Peace that transcends all understanding. Maybe I missed the point.

Thinking about it in the shower this morning, it seems to me that what we can say for sure is some people believe in God and some don't. I thought about switches - light on, light off (or even dimmer switches), and thought what an interesting area of exploration it would be to take two populations of people - those who do believe in a benevolent, omnipotent, omnipresent God and those who have a profound belief that there is no such Being - and without judgment explore what the differences are between the two populations to try and locate where that difference arises and how it affects outcomes between the two populations. Maybe that has been done - I'm not sure I'd know how to go about finding out whether the data already exists.

What do you think?

And how about those hairstyles?

'Blindside' - a dense curtain of hair completely obscuring one eye

'Time up' - it genuinely looked half-finished - raggedy short on one side, long and sleek the other

'Painting by Numbers' - different coloured highlights giving a kind of stripey effect

Dream Job

2010-03-17T23:12:00.003Z

So far I've been invited for interviews for jobs that deep down I didn't really want but today I attended an interview for a dream job - one that when I read the job description and the person specification, I felt was tailor-made for me. I was asked to arrive for 9 am on the understanding that all candidates would be interviewed in the order of arrival. I anticipated the traffic would be terrible at that time of day, clashing with school runs and so on. Imagine my delight when I sailed through with no hold-ups, arriving in a nifty 21 minutes. I parked up and enjoyed the golden sunshine - the day was looking perfect!

As I'd allowed an hour to get there (you can tell how bad I anticipated the traffic to be!), I was really, really early, so the parking place I chose was not too close. I sat in the car for a while. Finally I decided it was time to make a move. Not a moment too soon, as it wasn't immediately obvious which building I was supposed to go to and I wasted some time going to the main reception only to discover the interview room was across the site, a few minutes walk away.

The receptionist took my name, noted my time of arrival and pointed me to a group of couches where 3 other candidates were already waiting. Another lady arrived after me, and the 5 of us chatted a little, taking the opportunity to size each other up. One of the candidates, the only male, was already employed by the organisation, and getting this job would mean a step up for him.

Whilst I was waiting, I picked up a booklet which listed all the super training opportunities the organisation offered staff for key skills development. Even if I hadn't wanted the job before, that little booklet really sold me on it!

The interview panel was two very pleasant ladies, and I found myself enjoying the interview. Mostly I felt I answered the questions well, apart from one. I was asked what it was that made me apply for the job. I'd already explained my reasons in the application form and for some reason I didn't like to repeat them. Did I say I thought the job was tailor-made for me? These two smiling ladies didn't get to hear that, unfortunately. Instead I found myself waffling about when I was an undergraduate. I could sense I wasn't giving what was wanted, but I didn't quite know how to retrieve the moment. Still, I came out of the interview feeling quite buoyant.

I was told that they had 4 more candidates to see in the afternoon, that I had already done extremely well to have been short-listed out of so many applicants, and that I would receive a phone call at 6.30 pm to let me know if I had been successful.

A friend came round and waited with me. 6.30 pm came ... and the clock ticked on, and the phone stayed silent. My friend pointed out that with 9 candidates to call, they couldn't all be called dead on 6.30 pm. I replied that if it were me doing the calling, I would ring the successful candidates (I should explain there were 2 positions, one permanent, one a temporary 12 month contract) first, in case one of them then turned the job offer down. I wasn't altogether surprised when finally at around 7 pm, I learned I had been unsuccessful. Apparently I was 3rd equal. Should I be consoled by that, do you think? Of course it was my failure to offer any real reason why I was enthusiastic about the position that had let me down - that was the answer I had 'scored less than average' on.

And to cap it all, I've got a large spot come out on my nose and another on my chin. Hey, ain't life grand, folks?

'With or without you'

2010-03-13T22:00:00.008Z

Little did I anticipate when I woke this morning that by 1.30 pm I'd be sitting alone aboard the Red Falcon on my way from Southampton to the Isle of Wight.

One of life's little adventures.

It began almost immediately after I'd swung my legs out of bed with the sound of my mobile phone announcing a text message received. It was from a friend who works in IT as a field engineer. He had a call to attend on the Isle of Wight, and would I like to go along for the ride? I considered the alternative (wash the kitchen floor; change the sheets; do the weekly shop; do some work over the allotment) and looked out at the promising start to the day - decision made.

Recognising that I might be alone and responsible for entertaining myself whilst he was working, I packed a bag with some essentials: book; pen; notebook; glasses; water; mobile phone; money; camera. We arrived at the docks in plenty of time to catch the noon car ferry only to learn that the parts for the call were still en route and unlikely to arrive before 1.30 pm. It gave us some time to find a busy little cafe and have some lunch.

Back to the docks to discover the next departure was 1.30. My friend realised he wouldn't be able to receive the parts and be on board in time, and the next car ferry wasn't until 3 pm. His carefully planned day was beginning to come apart. At that point I spotted the timetable for the high speed passenger ferry (23 minutes, leaving at 1.45 pm). I suggested one of us board the 1.30 ferry with the car and the other wait for the parts and take the passenger ferry ... so there you have it - me on board the car ferry with an automatic car I'm not used to driving.

On the journey down to the docks my friend and I had had a lively discussion during which he had voiced the view that women were less logical thinkers than men. As his boat sped past mine, (photo above) I sent him a smug text: "So you'll concede women are sometimes clear, rational, logical thinkers? :D

At the customer's premises, I left him busy with the kit and took myself and my book off to this grassy knoll where I sat for a while enjoying the warm sunshine and John Cleese's take on 'Life and how to survive it'.

The Gas Man Cometh

2010-03-12T20:04:00.006Z

The gas mains are being renewed all round the estate and yesterday an 'andsome Irish feller knocked at me door and asked if 'e and 'is mate could pop along early this marning, loik. I said to be sure that'd be foin, me good man. What he didn't tell me was that they were going to turn off the gas for the day and change the meter. So with no heating all day and the weather being a bit on the cold side with the windows open to let the smell of gas escape, I was very glad to see another workman come back around 3 pm to fit the new meter and get the gas back on. Just in time to warm the house up a bit for the arrival of my guests. With Mother's Day coming this Sunday, I invited the little girl next door and her friend to come round after school today for a craft session. Fortuitously I'd managed to get a cake baked this morning before the gas was cut off - normally I sandwich two together to make one large cake but this time I sliced each one to make two cakes, with cream and raspberry jam in the middle and melted chocolate on top. We made some white glace icing and the girls tried their hands at writing 'Mummy' on the cakes and decorating with stars and hearts.

Then we settled down to the business of making cards. They had a great time - I've got a nice photo of the two of them with their cards, but I'm going to check with their mums first if it's ok to put it on the blog. Here's the cards they made.

If at first you don't succeed ...

2010-03-09T21:04:00.006Z

You remember me telling you about my experimental Rye bread that the birds wouldn't touch? Tonight I had another go and made these yummy rolls.

Simplified the recipe from last time:

1lb 5ozs Flour made up of 2ozs Soya Flour, and the rest 50:50 Rye and Spelt flour;

1 tablespoon dry yeast mixed with 1 teasp sugar and 3/4 pint water at 37º;

1 dessertspoon honey

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/4 teaspoon salt

Mix the flour and salt and put to warm;

Whisk the yeast into the sugared water and leave to stand in a warm place until it has a thick layer of froth on top; rub the honey and olive oil into the warm flour then mix in the yeast liquid and knead well for 5 minutes; put dough back into bowl, cover and leave in a warm place to prove for about an hour; knock back and knead again, break into small dough balls and put on a baking tray, cover and prove for another 20 minutes then bake in a hot oven (170º if fan assisted). Check they're cooked by tapping the bottom - they should sound hollow. Delicious!

I guess that motto (if at first you don't succeed, try and try and try again) will have to serve for a while as I continue to send out job applications.

Accomplishments rewarded

2010-03-08T23:00:00.002Z

Today seemed a rewarding day where I was 'in gear' from the get-go. Scraped frost off the windscreen and went down the gym first thing, then got on with the laundry and other housework before settling at the computer and applying online for a couple of audio-typing jobs, and fine-tuning my CV to apply for a super career position.

After lunch I went over the allotment with Louise. I probably haven't told you about Louise and the allotment ...? Well, back before Christmas vandals burnt down the two sheds on my allotment and the loss of the sheds and all my gardening tools etc plus my plans to return to paid employment made me decide it was time to draw a line under the whole thing. However ... my other allotment-holder friends really felt I would miss it if I gave it up entirely and after due consideration I finally decided to keep it on for at least another year, but share the work with a couple of others: Roger (a church contact) and Louise (a near neighbour). This afternoon we all spent some time digging the ground over getting it ready for the new season.

Afterwards I came home and planted some anemones in the garden then cooked a tasty meal for myself and a friend before we went to see 'Leap Year' at the cinema. I thoroughly enjoyed the film, it kept me chuckling all the way through - a real treat and a great end to a nice day.

Another Interview

2010-03-04T20:55:00.002Z

On Tuesday I received another invitation to interview, this time to provide maternity cover for a general admin job. Pay wasn't too bad and the hours were nice, but unfortunately I don't think I presented very well. Once again the first question was "Tell us a little about yourself". Someone suggests I try saying, "I'm wonderful, you'll love me and bless the day you found me". I suppose I'll soon get the hang of this interviewing business but for the moment I'm fairly certain that they're not seeing me at my most confident.

Recently have been having some annoyance with the PC keep losing my internet connection, which doesn't improve matters when I'm trying to complete online application forms for jobs.

In like a lamb

2010-03-01T20:38:00.001Z

There's an old saying, March comes in like a lion, goes out like a lamb. Wonder how it goes when we meet the lamb first? What a glorious day! Bright blue sky and warm sunshine. I had my first interview at 10 am this morning - did I tell you I'm job-hunting? I'm sure I told you ... I've applied for about 12 positions so far and received rejections for some of them and an invitation to interview for one. When the call came, it was to my mobile whilst I was in town and I was very careful not to let on that I couldn't remember which job it was because I'd applied for so many. When I got home and checked my paperwork, I realised that the hours weren't ideal, but nonetheless I attended for interview. I need the practice - much more than I realised, as it happens. The lady interviewing was lovely, very kind, but I was thrown by her very first question: "Tell me a little about yourself". Ok, in retrospect I should have been better prepared. As it was I fumbled my answer. Afterwards I dropped in on a friend who offered some crumbs of comfort.

In the evening I went to see the film 'The Lovely Bones' with another friend. I have to say I don't think it was my best choice, although the cinematography was incredible.

Oh, by the way - the photo above shows a neighbour's cat perched on a stone in my garden pretending to be a statue. He sat there motionless for a good few minutes. I took the photo with the camera on my mobile phone from a distance of about 25' through a window, hence the poor quality.

Reasons to be cheerful

2010-02-28T16:06:00.000Z

Reasons to be cheerful #1: Lidl's were selling large bunches of long-stemmed yellow roses for £1.79 each or £3 for two. Bargain!

Reasons to be cheerful #2: The aerogarden is ready for harvesting - I picked a large bunch of Basil and made a delicious vegetarian dinner: onions, garlic, leeks, carrots, sweet pepper, broccoli all cooked in a herby tomato sauce and topped with sliced potato and a cheesey white sauce.

Anyone for cake?

2010-02-24T21:33:00.003Z

Well here's the remains of the cakes I made for tonight's meeting - the chocolate cream cake was the most popular, but there weren't as many people at the meeting as I'd anticipated. Now what am I going to do with so much cake in the house? Hardly conducive to my shedding some of the extra weight! Anyone care to come and join me for an impromptu coffee morning?

Anyway, some good news: I've been invited to have an informal chat about a possible job opportunity.

Impulse Buying

2010-02-23T11:00:00.004Z

A few weeks ago I bought some rye flour on impulse, intending to make some bread (all because a friend once told me he liked the rye bread a local baker sells).

I went to a seminar many years ago on 'Stress' and out of all the words spoken there, the concept that stuck with me was "It's not the things we do that cause stress, it's the things we leave undone".

So the rye flour sits in the cupboard for a while ...

Finally the day comes when that niggling thought has gathered such strength that I get around to looking through my cookbooks for a suitable recipe and pulling the rye flour out of the larder (hey! I bought TWO bags of this stuff! What was I THINKING?!?). A kid from next door pops round with her friend - it's a pleasant distraction for a few minutes. They go. I'm left with my big intentions.

So I make the bread - in the end it's kind of experimental, not adhering to any particular recipe. I add soya flour and a bit of rice flour and a bit of cornflour, some honey, some olive oil. I guess at the amount of liquid then add some more, and take it out of the oven when it looks done. The result is very tasty but still doughy in the middle - whether because the dough was too wet, or because I didn't bake it long enough I don't know.

That was Sunday. This morning there is still half a loaf sitting there uneaten. I've thrown a slice out for the birds and they've turned up their beaks at it. Whatever the recipe was for the rye bread my friend used to buy from the bakers, I don't think I've quite stumbled upon it. But you know I've got lots of rye flour left to play with ... lots. Lucky me.

That same friend isn't a professing Christian but today sent me a link to Bocelli singing The Lord's Prayer with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He used the word 'sensational'. I watched it and for some unknown reason, it didn't do a lot for me. I tried to work up a sense of reverence, a deep emotional response that I'm guessing had I been there in person, I would have felt. Nothing. At best I could appreciate my friend's gesture, appreciate the connection between us that prompted him to send me the link believing it would move me. Contrast this with a link a Christian friend recently sent me: Glee: 'Imagine'. That held so much appeal I now watch the series on TV.

Anyway, back with the subject of this post: impulse buying.

I've been asked to make some cakes for a meeting tomorrow night. I went shopping for ingredients yesterday. I'm aiming to do a chocolate cream cake and a fruit cake. Used to be I bought sultanas for the fruit cake, until I discovered another friend likes bran loaf made with luxury dried fruit mix. As I stood in front of the shelf of dried fruit, I felt a gentle inner prompting to buy the sultanas rather than the luxury fruit mix. I heard it but ignored it, thinking I knew better, that any dried fruit not used for the cake will come in handy next time I make a bran loaf.

Today as I looked at the remains of the rye loaf, this idea popped into my head: why not make a bread and butter pudding with it?

As I stood there trying to pick out the sultanas from the luxury fruit mix, I thought back to that inner prompting yesterday. If only I had listened.

Jersey Boys

2010-02-17T21:02:00.001Z

Gorgeous weather - blue sky and sunshine - for our trip to London. My friend picked me up around 10 am and we headed into town. There's a cafe called Ossie's in the city centre we like to patronise - stopped there for lunch then drove on to Leicester Square and checked out what films were showing. After enjoying 'Up in the Air' (George Clooney), we bought tickets for Jersey Boys at the half-price Tkts booth (where the sales assistants are extremely helpful). We walked around a while, browsing a couple of Waterstone's stores to give me a chance to spend my book token. I was looking for 'Factoring Humanity' by Robert Sawyer. I read 'Flash Forward' recently and enjoyed it, and I'm reliably informed that 'Factoring Humanity' is the author's own favourite of the novels he's written. Unfortunately it's not currently available in the UK, as far as I can gather.

After a cheap and delicious vegetable lasagne at Yates' in Leicester Square, we walked down to the Prince Edward theatre and took our seats for an evening of entertainment based on the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Super day.

Mardi Gras

2010-02-16T20:08:00.002Z

Today I learned something new: Mardi Gras is French for Shrove Tuesday. Here is the table laid ready for tonight's Pancake Party. I invited some friends round for a bring and share supper and enjoyed the evening so much I'm planning another one soon. I supplied baked potatoes and my friends brought tuna mayo, grated cheese, moussaka, salad, etc. Dessert was of course pancakes (served with a choice of ice cream, cherries, strawberries, maple syrup, lemon juice and sugar). All very simple. Entertaining made easy.

The significance of silence in the Buddha Dharma

2010-02-15T22:00:00.001Z

The day began with a really good workout at the gym. I joined the 'Body Blitz' class. I'll confess I made a mistake - I thought I was going to a 50+ keep fit class and anticipated it would be fairly gentle. No such luck! Going to a class like that on a regular basis would soon sort out the extra pounds, I think I'd sweat it off in no time. It's strange how energetic I felt afterwards.

Later I had an appointment with an employment specialist to go through my CV and fine tune it to give me a better chance of getting interviewed. I've sent off applications for 12 jobs so far, received 3 outright rejections and not had any invitations to interview as yet. That contrasts strongly with my previous job-hunting experience. Someone has suggested I'm underselling myself.

In the evening I hooked up the trusty satnav and found my way to the Friends' Meeting House at Woking for a talk on the significance of silence in the Buddha Dharma. (Following the link will take you off this page to the Woking Quakers' website, and you can scroll down to an article about the talk). It was very interesting, but the wooden bench I was sitting on wasn't exactly comfortable for a prolonged sit, and as the time wound round towards 9.45 pm I just wanted to head for home. Eventually I decided there was nothing else for it but to stand up and thread my way carefully past the other attendees (the room was packed and I was sitting just about furthest from the exit). Back in the comfort of the car I re-programmed the satnav to take me home ... but there was a road closed and the diversion took me well off track. Now this is the kind of situation which makes me very thankful for the satnav and ultimately it did get me home safely. You noticed the word 'ultimately', yes? The route was very ... how can I put it ... 'interesting', involving extremely narrow country lanes and a dead end which the satnav seemed to think was an acceptable route. Those bollards looked pretty solid to me! As I turned in the road and drove back, the satnav persisted in instructing me to 'perform a U-turn, perform a U-turn'. I don't think there's a button you can press to tell it it's made a mistake. Oh well, once I'd found my way to the nearest main road, it got me back on track so we're still friends.

Cautionary Tales

2010-02-09T11:11:00.005Z

On Sunday I visited the local church. One of the readings was from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 11 v37-52; to put it in context, Jesus had just been talking to a large crowd. A Pharisee (a Jew who was so well versed in the Old Testament he was recognised as a practitioner and teacher of law) invited Jesus to come and eat with him. Jesus accepted the invitation, went in and 'reclined at the table' with the Pharisees' guests. The Pharisee is surprised when Jesus doesn't wash before the meal as was the Jewish custom.

As a Christian I've been accustomed to reading this story from a perspective that says more or less 'Jesus is the perfect shining example of all that is good and can do no wrong'. However, for some reason upon reading it this time I was able to step out of that mindset and see how it would look if I was reading a story about myself as the 'named character'. So I've just been out addressing the crowds and getting my ego stroked by being the centre of attention, and someone important, someone others respect and look up to, compounds that by inviting me to enjoy his hospitality. Wow, am I doing great or what? Accepted into the 'highest' circles! So I go in and I'm familiar with the custom of washing before eating but today I just go to the table and take up my place. Now is that because I'm hungry and can't wait to eat, or because I understand the reason for the rules and have faith that I'm not going to suffer on this occasion through throwing convention to the winds, or because I want to make a point, or some other reason such as being so caught up in what happened outside that I simply forget ... on this point the story is silent. The consequence, however, is that this important person who has just extended me the acceptance of being his equal now finds his notions of equality being challenged. He who has exhibited his adherence to the rules through his outward habits is now faced with someone who seems profoundly 'other'. Where there had been acceptance of the 'we' position, now he is feeling surprised by this glaring difference between us. A simple omission on my part signals the underlying 'me, you' sense of separation as the Pharisee fails to recognise himself in my action. What happens next? Rather than taking some action that will reconcile us, smooth over the awkward moment and switch us back into brotherhood, effectively I emphasise my own sense of the difference, and more: of my sense of being superior to my host and his colleagues. Ungraciously I lambast them about their behaviour. Now here's the point that really caught my attention. In the speech Jesus is quoted as saying:

" Woe to you, because you build tombs for the prophets, and it was your forefathers who killed them.
So you testify that you approve of what your forefathers did; they killed the prophets, and you build their tombs.
Because of this, God in his wisdom said, 'I will send them prophets and apostles, some of whom they will kill and others they will persecute.'
Therefore this generation will be held responsible for the blood of all the prophets that has been shed since the beginning of the world,
from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who was killed between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, I tell you, this generation will be held responsible for it all."

Lately I've been thinking about quantum physics. A while back I watched Dr Brian Greene's 'The Elegant Universe' and read the book. I watched the TV series 'FlashForward' and when it stopped midway through the series for Christmas, I borrowed the novel from the library and read that. (It draws on quantum physics). I've been watching the extended DVD set, 'What the Bleep do we know? ', learning about 'entanglement' and 'consciousness'. I've been reading books that suggest that the energy we send out comes back to us (also a physical 'law': every action has an equal and opposite reaction). When I look at this tirade and put it in the context of the story of Jesus' life as told in the Gospels, it becomes a cautionary tale reminding me to be careful what I say when I'm in a state of perceiving myself to be separate from others.

The Sunday morning service continued with a reading from Paul's epistle to the Galatians chapter 6 v1-18 which includes the warning: "God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." Sadly from the Gospel accounts, it would appear Jesus reaped the consequences of his words, dying on a cross bearing the responsibility for the blood of the prophets.

Aerogarden

2010-01-30T09:48:00.003Z

I planted up the aerogarden on January 8th. Along the back row left to right there is mint, basil, dill, thyme. Front row: purple basil, chives, parsley (which so far annoyingly has failed to germinate). Didn't realise until the herbs had germinated that thyme has now been substituted for the coriander (cilantro). Bit of a nuisance as more of the recipes I use regularly call for coriander than thyme.

This morning the sun is beaming out of a clear blue sky and reflecting off the scattering of white. I had planned to go over the allotment but I think it's going to be a cold one! Maybe I should just stay here for the morning and finish the online application I started yesterday for a secretarial job.

Culinary Success!

2010-01-29T20:35:00.002Z

Tonight's tasty home-cooked meal was Thai Green Chicken curry served with fragrant Thai rice, broccoli and organically home-grown brussel sprouts and mashed swede. The chicken was really tender and delicious. There is still a full row of swede to lift over the allotment before I hand it over to a new tenant.

After dinner I took the digital camera out into the cold night air to try and capture the sight of Mars shining it's brightest alongside the moon. It's possible to just about make out Mars in the photos - maybe my old 35mm SLR camera and telephoto lens could have done better.

Culinary flop!

2010-01-28T18:51:00.002Z

Not all my culinary efforts are successful. Now you might be forgiven for thinking that the photo shows two respectable Yorkshire puddings. Sadly not. Today is my neighbour's little boy's first birthday so I thought it would be a nice gesture to make him a birthday cake. If you check out the blog entry for 27th December 2009 you'll get the idea. I really don't know why these are such a flop - unless it's because I mixed two types of fat. I didn't have sufficient soft margarine so I made it up with butter. Would that do it?

Anyway, suffice it to say that I abandoned the idea of giving this cake to my neighbour. I had to go into town anyway this afternoon for an interview at the Job Centre so I used the trip as an opportunity to buy the kid a wooden shape-sorting puzzle instead. The present was very well received.

One half of the cake I have used as the basis for a large trifle, the other I gave to a friend for her to do something with. Now I just have to find someone on whom to bestow the trifle. Any takers?

Focusing on the positive

2010-01-27T22:40:00.006Z

Yesterday's Spiritual Journeying meeting went extremely well, I'm pleased to report. There were 13 attendees and every single one joined in the conversation. It was stimulating and enjoyable (and for me, an answered prayer).

Dinner tonight was also very enjoyable - not to mention colourful and healthy. Salmon cooked in a foil parcel with olive oil, lemon juice, vine-ripened tomatoes and red sweet pepper, served with potatoes and courgettes oven-roasted in olive oil and fresh broccoli. It made up for a wasted afternoon, but I won't go into that. Let's focus on the positive.

Beautiful Sunset

2010-01-26T17:20:00.009Z

This morning I was getting together the material I need to facilitate tonight's 'Spiritual Journeying' group session on 'Metaphors for Life'. The weather was deceptive, the clear blue sky and sunshine looked lovely through the window from my cosy study. It wasn't until I caught the bus down to my hairdressing appointment I discovered just how cold it was!

I've now taken the first steps towards getting back to work. I've applied for a part-time secretarial job and visited the local Jobcentre.

Meanwhile the diet wandered off track over the weekend but tomorrow is another day - and that glorious red sky holds a lot of promise.

Dog-Sitting

2010-01-24T12:16:00.003Z

I agreed to look after Rusty for the weekend whilst his family were away. I had an inkling beforehand that I should refuse. On Friday afternoon I took him for a long walk over the common then gave him his dinner. Whilst I was preparing my dinner, he asked to go out so I let him out in the garden. Unfortunately he found a dead bird I had no idea was there, which strangely held more appeal than the dog food supplied - but not for long. Once indoors, he sicked it back up. Not exactly something you want to be dealing with clearing up just before a guest arrives to share a meal, believe me!

Then this morning again I took him for a walk and he did his business so I felt safe leaving him for an hour or so whilst I went to the local church. Mistake. I came home to find a huge puddle, two piles of poo and more vomit. This time he ignored his bowl of dog food in favour of the soil from one of my house plants which evidently disagreed with him.

Sunday lunch doesn't hold much appeal right now!

The Not-So-White Stuff

2010-01-19T17:24:00.009Z

The snow from Tesco's car park looks more like slag heaps where it has been piled in various places.

Today began murky but brightened briefly towards mid-afternoon, the sun slanting through the stained glass window of the church where a special ceremony of remembrance was taking place. Last year one of my close friends lost her grandson in a tragic road traffic accident. Recently her own son's grief was sharply rekindled by a stranger remarking that the boy's spirit couldn't rest because he hadn't been baptised. My friend turned to me and asked if it would be possible for a minister of religion to say some words over a photograph to ensure that her grandson's spirit could be at peace and provide the reassurance her son needed. Thus I was privileged to join with her in a brief but touching memorial service. The person conducting the service drew our attention to how steadily the candle flame was burning. Then a robin caught my friend's attention as it perched at a window stretching its neck to peer in at us - a robin, she explained, holds a special significance for her of another family member's presence. The steady candle flame, the robin, the unexpected sun streaming through the window ... what wonderful testimony or reassurance they gave my friend of a loving God embracing her beloved grandson.

Dancing in the Streets

2010-01-18T23:04:00.003Z

Just got in from an evening of live entertainment at the New Victoria Theatre in Woking, and when I say 'live', there was so much energy it was electric! This fantastic show features many of the old Motown classics. If you ever enjoyed music from The Four Tops, The Temptations, Marvin Gaye, The Supremes or Stevie Wonder, I can recommend it. Certainly had the audience on our feet dancing in the aisles if not the streets, and brought some 'sunshine on a cloudy day' to my life, after another depressing stint over the allotment clearing up from the arson attack on the sheds.

Glorious Sunshine!

2010-01-17T13:28:00.005Z

At the Quaker meeting I went to this morning one of the Friends spoke of the difficulty we have when something like the terrible earthquake in Haiti happens, in reconciling such cruel events in Nature with a belief in a kind and loving God. She brought a reading from a Quaker scientist which turned to this difficult topic and spoke of how two irreconcilable truths can become the stepping stone to new knowledge. As I contemplated the words, my thoughts turned to how, if we look in a mirror and see a flaw reflected there, we don't blame the mirror or the mirror's maker, rather we use what we see in the reflection to make a decision or take appropriate action. As I thought on the implications of this, I found the question surfacing: but if the created world - if nature - is merely reflecting the face of the observer, whose is that face: God's or humanity's? Rather than an answer, another question arose in my thoughts: what makes you think the two are different? Various bible verses and doctrine came to mind, such as Jesus saying "I am in the Father and the Father is in me", and that Christians are "One in Christ". As these thoughts were busy in my mind, another Friend stood and spoke about Love, the concept that God is Love, and brought the bible reading from Paul's letter to the Corinithians including the verse I had in mind when I named this blog: now we see in a glass darkly ...

After lunch I decided to make the most of the beautiful weather (mild and gloriously sunny with a clear blue sky) to go and begin the task of clearing up the allotment. Regular readers will remember I wrote last month that vandals have burnt down both of the sheds on my plot. It's dirty work but somebody's got to do it, right? It proved more tiring and dis-spiriting than I had ever imagined, disposing of the metal skeletons of gifts from my loving offspring, etc. I had toyed with the idea of hiring a skip but finally dismissed that idea in favour of using cardboard boxes and rubble sacks to cart the stuff down the dump. The past few weeks of inactivity have impacted my fitness level and I'd had enough after barely an hour's work. Then there was a 20 minute queue at the dump. By the time I got home I was nearly in tears with tiredness and despondency over the sad waste of it all - very unusual for me.

The one bright spot on the horizon is that another allotment-holder approached me. It seems she has also recently separated from her husband, and is thinking that the full plot will be more than she can reasonably manage single-handedly along with working full-time. She knew I was thinking of giving up the allotment and she suggested I'd miss it if I gave up totally - how about I take on a spare corner of her plot? At the moment it sounds like an offer too good to refuse (but I'll sleep on it a while to see if it still sounds good when I'm not feeling so down).

The Thaw Continues

2010-01-16T22:05:00.003Z

Rain overnight has begun to make a difference, chasing away the white stuff to reveal the greenery underneath. For the first time since the heavy snowfall, I made it down the gym today. Boy, did that feel good, not least because the car started first go, despite having sat out in the cold unused for over a week. From the gym I went on to do some grocery shopping at the supermarket. Not such a good plan as by then the place was heaving at the seams. Might have been better to do the supermarket early, before the gym. Oh well ... live and learn as the saying goes.

The rain continued much of the morning, combining with the melt to flood the roads in places. With the snow gone, the pothole damage to the roads becomes only too apparent, making the drive home something of an obstacle course trying to avoid the worst of the potholes and the floods. It was also noticeable how many trees have shed large branches under the weight of all that snow. The thaw might be well under way but the country will take a little longer to recover from the consequences of the weather ... and the wheelie bins still haven't been emptied.

I had hoped to get over the allotment and start clearing up the debris from the fire but it was far too wet today.