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I mentioned previously some of the projects I'm involved in currently, but I didn't mention the fact that I've taken on the task of setting up a library for the Beacon church. It came about because a few months ago a couple of people chanced to mention a particular book to me, and recommend I read it. Whilst I'm not working I'm disinclined to spend too much on luxuries for myself as it doesn't seem fair on Vic. I asked to borrow the book - neither person could locate their copy and both recalled they had lent it to someone else but couldn't remember to whom. From this came the inspiration for the idea that it would be good to catalogue all the Christian books we've got at home on our bookshelves and have a central 'virtual library' with a system for requesting books and keeping track of where they were so that they eventually find their way back to their owner's bookshelf. It fits in with the principle of New Testament living of believers sharing their possessions (Acts 2:44). I put the idea forward, the leaders gave their blessing and a church member introduced me to 'LibraryThing' which seemed heaven-sent for the purpose! I sent off for a barcode scanner and was all set to go.
Originally I had intended that the books stay on people's bookshelves, but as it turned out, there were a number of books already at the Beacon building, including a large box of children's books. I was encouraged to bring them home and begin with cataloguing these. A wet Monday when I'd caught up with all the usual household tasks provided the ideal moment. I picked up the book on top of the pile of junior books …. and started reading it. It was so interesting, I read it from cover to cover … and by the time I'd finished, it was time to go and have a cup of tea with a new friend, June, from the allotments. Altogether a very pleasant day, although perhaps not quite as productive as I had intended. Oh well, to borrow a phrase, so it goes …
Monday 24 September 2007
Thursday 20 September 2007
Endoscopy
I mentioned previously about a conversation I'd had with Phil where he spoke of people saying strange things in his presence, and me countering with the suggestion he could think about these things differently and then might feel differently. An example of just such an event happened whilst I was waiting for my appointment for gastro-intestinal endoscopy.
The appointment was for 8.30 am so Vic dropped me off punctually and I made my way to the department. The paperwork had warned that just because I was asked to get there for 8.30, it didn't mean I'd be seen at that time. I'd been told to eat nothing after my previous evening's meal, and to drink nothing after midnight. The waiting room was already almost full – only a couple of seats spare – as it became apparent that all the patients to be seen that morning had been asked to arrive at 8.30 am. After I sat down, a young woman (early 20's) came and sat next to me. We sat in silence and waited … and waited. There didn't seem to be much happening – occasionally a nurse would come and collect a patient, take them away for a few minutes and then escort them back (after going through the health questionnaire we'd been asked to complete and bring with us).
Eventually the young woman beside me went and spoke to the receptionist, then came and sat down again. After a while she said out loud "You selfish bitch!". Startled, I glanced at her. Momentarily I considered the statement and wondered if I was, indeed, a selfish bitch. It's a possibility I've considered before. Then the Counsellor in my head pointed out that the young lady was probably judging herself harshly because of her earlier action in going to the receptionist (presumably to try and get seen quicker). "I'm sure you're not" I reassured her with a smile, receiving a warm, grateful smile in return. Inwardly I was thankful to the loving spirit which had defused what could have been a painful event for me had I thought differently about it.
Sedation is routinely offered for this gastroscopy procedure, but I'm pleased to say I was able to elect to do without, feeling peaceful and calm despite the long wait. However, I did decide to offer some feedback to the Consultant and sent him a letter which I've posted here in case you wish to read it. In the letter I tried to keep in mind the principles a wise man once taught me regarding communication:
1) Is what I am about to say true?
2) Am I going to say it in such a way that will build up and not tear down? This could relate to a situation or a person. (So often the language we use can be very destructive, and indeed the very way we use it helps create the 'meaning ' of what is going on).
3) If I am speaking about another person who is not present, would I be willing to say it in their presence?
Here is the feedback letter I wrote to the Consultant:
GASTROSCOPY PROCEDURE – 20TH September - FEEDBACK
In these days when everyone is looking for ways to improve the service provided, I hope you will find the following feedback useful.
I received an appointment pack inviting me to come for GI endoscopy on Thursday 20th September. This was very prompt (only a month since my GP requested an appointment).
The information received was very helpful, informative and easy to understand. The paperwork included a proforma to return within 5 days in acceptance of the appointment. There was no return envelope provided. [Comment: On the one hand, I can see this is a good idea in terms of saving hospital money that can be better spent elsewhere – for each patient to fund his/her own return envelope + postage is a minimal outlay – and if it is a policy decision then it would be good to include on the proforma a paragraph to explain this and make it clear that it is the patient's responsibility to provide the envelope. On the other hand, I contrast this with the appointment I received to attend for a barium swallow x-ray in August – where a simple telephone call was all that was required to confirm acceptance of the appointment.]
I arrived at 8.30 am on the 20th as per instructions and was invited to take a seat in an almost full waiting room. I waited there for 3 hours, during which time a nurse went through the health questionnaire with me and labelled me. Then I was brought through to wait in the ward for another 10 minutes or so before you came to collect me and bring me in to the clinic.
Thank you and your staff who made the experience as painless as possible – everyone seemed confident and reassuring, warm, friendly and competent.
The time spent in the waiting room seems excessive. [Comment: You want your patients to be in a relaxed, calm state for the procedure and sitting for 3 hours or more in a room full of potentially anxious people with little to distract them may not be conducive to this. Could you learn from the x-ray department where a timed appointment was given?]
During the procedure, I gave a few loud belches. Each time you said, "I'm sorry, that was my fault". This makes it sound like you've done something wrong, which has caused the belches, but my guess is that the belches are a normal part of the process, and you offer that reassurance in order to put a patient at ease. May I suggest that another form of words, such as "Don't worry – that's normal" would reassure the patient without lodging the idea that you were making mistakes?
As I was being wheeled out of the clinic, you gave me a reassuring wink and it helped me smile and offer a sincere 'thank you'. I do indeed want to reiterate my thanks to you and your staff for all your hard work and for the standard of care provided.
The appointment was for 8.30 am so Vic dropped me off punctually and I made my way to the department. The paperwork had warned that just because I was asked to get there for 8.30, it didn't mean I'd be seen at that time. I'd been told to eat nothing after my previous evening's meal, and to drink nothing after midnight. The waiting room was already almost full – only a couple of seats spare – as it became apparent that all the patients to be seen that morning had been asked to arrive at 8.30 am. After I sat down, a young woman (early 20's) came and sat next to me. We sat in silence and waited … and waited. There didn't seem to be much happening – occasionally a nurse would come and collect a patient, take them away for a few minutes and then escort them back (after going through the health questionnaire we'd been asked to complete and bring with us).
Eventually the young woman beside me went and spoke to the receptionist, then came and sat down again. After a while she said out loud "You selfish bitch!". Startled, I glanced at her. Momentarily I considered the statement and wondered if I was, indeed, a selfish bitch. It's a possibility I've considered before. Then the Counsellor in my head pointed out that the young lady was probably judging herself harshly because of her earlier action in going to the receptionist (presumably to try and get seen quicker). "I'm sure you're not" I reassured her with a smile, receiving a warm, grateful smile in return. Inwardly I was thankful to the loving spirit which had defused what could have been a painful event for me had I thought differently about it.
Sedation is routinely offered for this gastroscopy procedure, but I'm pleased to say I was able to elect to do without, feeling peaceful and calm despite the long wait. However, I did decide to offer some feedback to the Consultant and sent him a letter which I've posted here in case you wish to read it. In the letter I tried to keep in mind the principles a wise man once taught me regarding communication:
1) Is what I am about to say true?
2) Am I going to say it in such a way that will build up and not tear down? This could relate to a situation or a person. (So often the language we use can be very destructive, and indeed the very way we use it helps create the 'meaning ' of what is going on).
3) If I am speaking about another person who is not present, would I be willing to say it in their presence?
Here is the feedback letter I wrote to the Consultant:
GASTROSCOPY PROCEDURE – 20TH September - FEEDBACK
In these days when everyone is looking for ways to improve the service provided, I hope you will find the following feedback useful.
I received an appointment pack inviting me to come for GI endoscopy on Thursday 20th September. This was very prompt (only a month since my GP requested an appointment).
The information received was very helpful, informative and easy to understand. The paperwork included a proforma to return within 5 days in acceptance of the appointment. There was no return envelope provided. [Comment: On the one hand, I can see this is a good idea in terms of saving hospital money that can be better spent elsewhere – for each patient to fund his/her own return envelope + postage is a minimal outlay – and if it is a policy decision then it would be good to include on the proforma a paragraph to explain this and make it clear that it is the patient's responsibility to provide the envelope. On the other hand, I contrast this with the appointment I received to attend for a barium swallow x-ray in August – where a simple telephone call was all that was required to confirm acceptance of the appointment.]
I arrived at 8.30 am on the 20th as per instructions and was invited to take a seat in an almost full waiting room. I waited there for 3 hours, during which time a nurse went through the health questionnaire with me and labelled me. Then I was brought through to wait in the ward for another 10 minutes or so before you came to collect me and bring me in to the clinic.
Thank you and your staff who made the experience as painless as possible – everyone seemed confident and reassuring, warm, friendly and competent.
The time spent in the waiting room seems excessive. [Comment: You want your patients to be in a relaxed, calm state for the procedure and sitting for 3 hours or more in a room full of potentially anxious people with little to distract them may not be conducive to this. Could you learn from the x-ray department where a timed appointment was given?]
During the procedure, I gave a few loud belches. Each time you said, "I'm sorry, that was my fault". This makes it sound like you've done something wrong, which has caused the belches, but my guess is that the belches are a normal part of the process, and you offer that reassurance in order to put a patient at ease. May I suggest that another form of words, such as "Don't worry – that's normal" would reassure the patient without lodging the idea that you were making mistakes?
As I was being wheeled out of the clinic, you gave me a reassuring wink and it helped me smile and offer a sincere 'thank you'. I do indeed want to reiterate my thanks to you and your staff for all your hard work and for the standard of care provided.
Saturday 1 September 2007
Relapse: What went wrong? Retrospectively
Ok, so for nearly a year – certainly since my baptism last November, I have been happily living at home, managing the normal, everyday stuff along with managing the allotment and working with the Mental Health Links. So what was it triggered the relapse?
With Mental Health Links, I've been working on two projects: 1) to get a 'Sunshine & Showers' group launched in Surrey Heath; 2) to find the best way to further the Positive Spirituality in Promoting Mental Health agenda locally. Meanwhile I've been continuing to attend and enjoy Ballroom and Latin-American dance classes on a Monday evening, with my dance partner, Brian, and taking an active part in the life of the Beacon Church – both as a member of a Cell Group and as a member of the wider church. ('Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength and love your neighbour as you love yourself')
On September 1st, we had a barbecue here. It was a glorious day and seemed successful in every aspect – the people (family, my church friends and Vic's work colleagues) who came all enjoyed themselves (and I was complimented on having a gift for getting the 'right' people together). The food was good, there was plenty of it, the conversation flowed, etc., etc. Although beforehand there was a lot of hard work went into the preparation, on the day it all seemed to come together so easily there was no stress involved. Yet by the end of the day I felt the early warning symptoms of another relapse – a strange sense like a shadow coming over me, or of looking at my immediate family and feeling distanced, like an outsider looking in. Talk to anybody about this? No, like usual I thought if I carried on regardless, I'd get back on track. I THINK that I upped the medication to 100mg leading up to the barbecue, recognising that stress might cause a 'blip'. I'd been taking a low dose (50mg) of Quetiapine up until the 30th August. This much I know because I'd recorded it in a diary. But from Friday 31st August through to September 4th I didn't make a note of dosage. When I met up with the psychiatrist on August 30th for the regular review, I was doing fine. Dr P_ introduced a med. student, Barney, who would be with her for a few weeks. At one point, presumably feeling a need to explain why someone as apparently intelligent, normal and grounded as me was seeing her, she turned to Barney and said, "Trish was very disruptive to her family last year". I said nothing, merely smiling at him in a gentle way, as I thought I detected a trace of embarrassment in his eyes when he met mine. In the normal course of events, 'normal' adults aren't subjected to another adult speaking about them in a demeaning manner. But hey, it was true, after a fashion, so I shrugged inwardly and kept quiet.
With Mental Health Links, I've been working on two projects: 1) to get a 'Sunshine & Showers' group launched in Surrey Heath; 2) to find the best way to further the Positive Spirituality in Promoting Mental Health agenda locally. Meanwhile I've been continuing to attend and enjoy Ballroom and Latin-American dance classes on a Monday evening, with my dance partner, Brian, and taking an active part in the life of the Beacon Church – both as a member of a Cell Group and as a member of the wider church. ('Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength and love your neighbour as you love yourself')
On September 1st, we had a barbecue here. It was a glorious day and seemed successful in every aspect – the people (family, my church friends and Vic's work colleagues) who came all enjoyed themselves (and I was complimented on having a gift for getting the 'right' people together). The food was good, there was plenty of it, the conversation flowed, etc., etc. Although beforehand there was a lot of hard work went into the preparation, on the day it all seemed to come together so easily there was no stress involved. Yet by the end of the day I felt the early warning symptoms of another relapse – a strange sense like a shadow coming over me, or of looking at my immediate family and feeling distanced, like an outsider looking in. Talk to anybody about this? No, like usual I thought if I carried on regardless, I'd get back on track. I THINK that I upped the medication to 100mg leading up to the barbecue, recognising that stress might cause a 'blip'. I'd been taking a low dose (50mg) of Quetiapine up until the 30th August. This much I know because I'd recorded it in a diary. But from Friday 31st August through to September 4th I didn't make a note of dosage. When I met up with the psychiatrist on August 30th for the regular review, I was doing fine. Dr P_ introduced a med. student, Barney, who would be with her for a few weeks. At one point, presumably feeling a need to explain why someone as apparently intelligent, normal and grounded as me was seeing her, she turned to Barney and said, "Trish was very disruptive to her family last year". I said nothing, merely smiling at him in a gentle way, as I thought I detected a trace of embarrassment in his eyes when he met mine. In the normal course of events, 'normal' adults aren't subjected to another adult speaking about them in a demeaning manner. But hey, it was true, after a fashion, so I shrugged inwardly and kept quiet.
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