It Felt Love

From "The Gift" by Hafiz:

It Felt Love

How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
All its
Beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light
Against its
Being,
Otherwise,
We all remain
Too
Frightened.

This was the poem with which our trainer began yesterday's 'Growing in Awareness and Practice' course session, along with a gift for each of us – a camellia blossom - see photo (it being a little early in the season to find roses in bloom in the garden).

It was another very enjoyable and thought-provoking session. With a wide selection of greetings cards on the floor in the middle of the group, we were invited to choose one and say what we liked or didn't like about it.

I picked a black and white photo of a young couple sharing a chair on a sun terrace beside the sea, their legs propped up on the sea wall. The man had evidently sat in the chair first, his back supported by the back of the chair, then the woman had sat down and lain back against him, his arms around her chest and her head resting against him, his cheek inclined to rest gently against her hair. On the sea wall beside their legs was one beer bottle. What I liked about it was:

· the pose, and the close, intimate, supportive relationship the image suggested;

· that it was a b/w photo – all of it captured by light/shade with no colour distracting;

· the expression of contentment on the woman's face;

· her hand reaching up to affirm him by touching his arm;

· the tenderness in his expression as he rested his face against her head;

· the one beer bottle – again suggesting a theme of sharing intimacy;

· that it evoked in me memories of sitting in the sun enjoying the whole relaxing sea side experience;

What I didn't like: when I looked at the pose more closely, I noticed that her bum wasn't supported, that the pose was very carefully contrived and in all likelihood, was not as comfy and relaxed in reality as it appeared at first glance – inauthentic.

After we'd had time to think about the card we each had chosen, we were invited to put a tick beside anything we'd attributed to the image which we don't recognise in ourselves. I ticked 'young' and 'contrived/inauthentic'. Ticking 'young' wasn't as easy as it sounds – there was an inner debate. In some ways I still feel 'young' – nice ways, like feeling energetic, enthusiastic, full of wonder at life's revelations, that sort of thing – yet in another way I didn't want to deny the belief that I have moved into a new level of maturity in recent years, that has little to do with my chronological age. Interesting.

We talked about projection and fragmentation – about what happens in a group when someone demonstrates a behaviour that I absolutely refuse to own. I suggested the Biblical story of the woman caught in adultery being brought before Jesus by the Pharisees and Teachers of the Law, and how we may want to metaphorically stone someone, not recognising that we are really rejecting an attribute which if we believed it of ourselves, might not allow us to retain a comfortable view of who we are.