Mindfulness

Saturday

Vic came with me to B&Q to buy some more bark chippings for the allotment plus some seed compost. The radio was playing in the car, and I became aware of the words of the song: "And I still haven't found what I'm looking for". The words seemed to hold some significance for me by the way they held my attention, and as it was in the first person singular I tried it on for size, inwardly asking if I was looking for something and not finding it. We successfully located bark chippings and seed compost, so evidently that wasn't it!

Over the allotment we were working for less than an hour (him spreading the bark chippings, me picking more broccoli and doing a bit of weeding) before the rain set in. I went to the Site Rep's shed and paid the annual rent, investigated how the water is getting into the new shed, then we came home for lunch. In the afternoon despite the rain I walked into town partly for the exercise and partly to pick up a new squeegee from the bargain store. On the way in I met a lady without a smile so I gave her one of mine – she gave one back immediately. After making a successful purchase, I wandered round a couple of other shops looking for cocktail sticks (Vic uses them as toothpicks) and Topics, until a young man working in the final shop took my attention from the shelves with a friendly 'Hello' and a smile. I returned the greeting and the smile, gave up my search and left the shop to come home. As I walked, I was thinking about how the simple, unexpected greeting had shifted the focus of my attention into mindfulness – in the moment of connection, I had looked into his eyes and encountered God's love. I came away without a Topic or the cocktail sticks, yet fully satisfied. I connected the words of the morning's song with the experience, and smiled to myself, feeling a sense of intimacy with God, as of Him gently teasing me knowing I would enjoy the joke.

Monday

Wasn't quite with it first thing – started doing Tuesday's 'Word for Today', titled 'Conquering Credit Card Madness (1) 'Owning . . . things won't make your life safe.' (Luke12:15 CEV) It quotes Donna F. Savage: "I'm shopping for an experience … to make the occasion memorable … directionless shopping hides the motivation behind spending decisions … A few Hallmark sentiments and a gift card will do the trick … Pizza and a new DVD should bring the family together … contentment slips out of reach with each substitution. Since our deepest expectations aren't met, we keep … spending". I reflected back on my Saturday shopping trip and the delight I had taken in the experience of meeting God unexpectedly in an ordinary encounter.

Received a phone call this morning to go in this afternoon for pre-operative check-up, with a date for the operation next Tuesday 25th March.

Tuesday

We had the next session in the 'Growing in Awareness & Practice' training course this afternoon. The trainer began by reading the following quote:

Mindfulness is what the monastic life teaches us.
It is such a very simple thing to walk through life
with my hands open,
my eyes open,
listening,
alive
in all my five senses to God breaking in
again and again in my daily life.

Esther de Waal

We broke into pairs for an exercise in demonstrating empathy, each person sharing what spirituality (or faith) means to us. The quote had brought Saturday's experience to mind and I shared it with my partner, finishing with the observation that trying to explain it would be difficult. My partner responded wisely that I don't have to explain it, it is enough to tell my story: after all, who can explain God?