Ulverston

I promised more on the weekend in Cumbria.

Ulverston is the birthplace of Stan Laurel of Laurel and Hardy fame. There is a museum dedicated to them, plus this statue.

The walk to Ulverston from Swarthmoor Hall takes you on a pretty route across this beautifully clear stream. It really was a delight given the summerlike weather of the weekend.

Just to help set the context for the weekend, regular readers may remember that I have a daily habit of reading 'The Word for Today'. Friday's reading helpfully suggested having a 'not-to-do' list, that Jesus wants us to enjoy a rich, satisfying life without getting bogged down in things that don't add value or meaning. Saturday's reading was about being fruitful, with the promise:

'whether you've fallen into the dirt or just settled for living beneath your potential, God won't throw you away. He will lift you, cleanse you and help you to flourish again.'

Both readings seemed relevant to where my life is 'at'.

It was recommended that to get the most out of the workshops, attendees read Rex Ambler's 'Light to Live By', and I was able to borrow this from the local Quaker meeting's library. The book details the author's own journey of discovery. Rex explains his seeking became very insistent when he reached a place in his life where he was experiencing two troubling issues, including personal difficulties with a close relationship.

He began researching the early Quaker movement, recognising there had been something very real there that had enabled those Friends to overcome difficult circumstances retaining their deep inner peace and calm in the face of persecution - much as the early New Testament church grew despite persecution. Sifting through historical documents, he became aware that references to 'the light' were key to understanding this power.

Meanwhile he came across psychologist Gendlin's 'focusing' therapy. Putting the two together, Ambler formulated a way of accessing the inner light through meditation.

The Experiment with Light workshop was about preparing us for a deep personal encounter with the 'inner light', sometimes referred to as 'that which is of god within us'. The light meditation itself is to lead us to the voice of Truth that lights our conscience. For me it seemed the theme I sensed within was gentle correction and of being heard/accepted. I felt I received an invitation to 'come as you are' - possibly in response to my own thoughts regretting recent lack of discipline in relation to diet/eating. Looking back, I recognised a feeling of irritation when someone demonstrated a lack of listening - and I thought back to my childhood feeling that my mother never totally accepted me as I was, but also that perhaps that's what I've inadvertently done to others, bringing my own experience of imperfect conditional love to the people around me. A friend from college days came to mind, but rather than allow the light to show me why, I found myself rationalising that this was because my friend had never felt totally accepted by me, had felt I was trying to change her all the time.

My notes record 'The fear of doing things wrong' - I recall during the meditation wondering if I was 'doing it right', and felt that this was answered by some song lyrics that came to mind, including the phrase 'if it's my all, it is enough'.

Afterwards I realised I had been relaxed enough during the meditation to be unaware of bodily sensations for a while.

We had been advised that sometimes something is begun during the meditation that will continue later, and sure enough that night as I lay in bed I had a vivid mental picture of a clay fountain/well with a clay water vessel, then images of a clear river and looking down into the water, seeing the green fronds, then either a 'white water' river or possibly the same river under different light conditions now reflecting the white of the sky. In my mind I asked what it meant. It seemed to be about taking words of encouragement and refreshment from within. Next morning in the shower I spontaneously began to thank God for water to drink, water to wash with and water to irrigate crops. Afterwards I linked this to the previous night's images.

The promise in Sunday's 'Word for the Day': if your response to the pruning process is right, you'll begin to move from barrenness to blessing.